Healing Hands

“You have healing hands.” It was one of the first compliments I received after giving a massage. It is still one of the greatest compliments I receive and one that I hear with some regularity. I understood this to mean that I have natural skills in bodywork. I also understood this as a way to communicate that I had done something impactful for my client. Still, at times, I have seen this in a more literal unfolding. Sometimes physical things move into repair, or healing, due to the physical manipulations of bodywork. However, sometimes emotional things are healed through touch or the exchange of energy that happens in a bodywork session. I have witnessed the improvement in mental health, the resolution of difficult emotional blocks, the restoration of the body in improved motion or removal of pain and disorder. So much healing happens when healthy touch and positive intention are placed into the same being.

Spiritual gifts do not require labels, titles, certifications, categories, or organized paths to manifest into reality. Rather, our gifts are an essential part of our identities and add definition to who we are. The magnetism of my energy, the potential of my touch, my dreams and manifest destiny, all showed through from my early childhood in my personality and the ways I interacted with the world around me. I believe this is true for everyone. Who you are, apart from the labels and roles you might pick up, will be exactly how you show up from the innocence of early consciousness.

As we go through life, we acquire knowledge, skills, identifiers, materials, and connections that help to communicate who we are and how we operate within the systems of the world. I’ve explored the world through this lens in many ways, collecting quite the array of qualifications to help paint a picture of who I am and what I can do. Healing, especially in the category of Energy Healing, can be a difficult concept to communicate because it is so much an experience rather than a segregated idea. I have learned, studies, applied, and adopted a number of different concepts and applications of energy healing over the years. This month, I am taking a focus on one in particular that I’ve never specifically talked about at length; Reiki. Now you know a little about my understanding and belief about spiritual gifts. Stay connected for what’s to come about this amazing technique.

Photo by Arina Krasnikova

Divine Feminine Potential

“She is a wild, tangled forest with temples and treasures concealed within.” – John Mark Green

It was the beginning of December, an end in itself. I was in the hustle and bustle of a high school basketball tournament in Indianapolis. The Pacer Athletic Center has eight courts which were all active with games all at once. Every squeaking shoe, dribbled ball, yelling teammates and coaches, whistles, buzzers, cheering fans by the hundreds; pure noise, amplified. It’s enough to make your head pound, your ears hurt, and you find total exhaustion after many hours. Still, somehow, when you get into a game all the noise blends together and you can get so in the moment and be present court side for your team.

That’s where I was, completely absorbed into a game for the varsity girls, when my healing journey brought me to a new, deeper level of spiritual awakening. I had no idea that basketball could yield a spiritual experience. It can be emotional to watch a game when you are connected to the players. There is tangible energy in the flow of teamwork, success, and setbacks. Certainly other parents and fans can relate to feeling a rush of joy when points are scored or the frustration when a skilled opponent gets the gain. On this particular day, something much deeper stirred in my soul as I watched 10 young women fight for a victory on the court.

There was a distinct moment when I did not see us versus them. The colors of the uniforms didn’t matter and the numbers on the score board were irrelevant. I realized I was surrounded by, and affected by, pure feminine potential. This isn’t to discount the boys in any way. Rather, it’s personal and profound that I recognized and tapped into the energy of what these young women are doing. I’ve been walking out a part of my own journey where I am facing and dealing with some childhood attachment issues and inner child wounds. I had once thought that I had adequately dealt with these layers until I recognized that you can remodel an entire house but the foundation remains and it will need a little work from time to time.

In the weeks before this moment, I recognized that I was grieving. I did not want to be, but I needed to release the pain and that’s what grieving does. I was grieving losses; of people, relationships, broken dreams, missed opportunities, and most of all parts of my identity that I had either sacrificed or never realized. Heavy stuff.

Grief, doubt, insecurity, and all the negative emotions we carry are not visible. On a basketball court, even the least confident player appears poised and capable to the average onlooker. As I watched the girls playing their hearts out, I saw confidence, intelligence, grace, assurance, dedication, and real, raw beauty. Honestly, I saw so much more than words can describe. They were flawless. They possessed the spirit of divine potential. For the first time in my conscious awareness I scanned a crowd and thought, “This is how God sees people.” I felt an overflowing of love and care for these beautiful ladies and there was not a shadow of doubt in my mind that they can do anything they desire.

I wished that they could feel for themselves what I was feeling for them in that moment. Connecting with my own inner child has revealed to me that I often felt I wasn’t loved for who I am so much as for what I could do or provide for others. So, I hid away the parts of me that were unlovable or unwanted. I created a version of me that made people happy, and I played the role of the people pleaser to keep from making waves. I allowed stagnant water by damning up my potential where there was meant to be a mighty, rushing river. Now, I look around and can see others who have done the same. Healing might require clearing away the sticks and logs a little at a time. Imagine what might happen to the world if we would free up and flow in the divine potential we were created with. If only we would get in the game of life like these ladies do on the basketball court.

Hard Truths. Pt 3

My education, my background, and my passion is built on psychology, professional counseling, marriage and family therapy, human services, and a solid belief in the potential to heal brokenness and trauma. I embrace many thoughts and theories about human understanding and behavior. What I don’t embrace is how something that once was about seeking truth has become a system of control. I know there are good intentioned people in that system. Just like there are good doctors and nurses in a corrupt medical system. (Those two arenas are directly connected, in case you didn’t know.)

So with years of experience, exceptional skills, and a passion for helping people, why would I abandon the mental health field?

  1. The System. I could convince you that the system of professionals you will need to get support from is for your benefit. I was trained to do so. You’ll need your primary doctor to check your health and any specialists for particular issues. You’ll need your therapist to talk to, your psychiatrist to prescribe you the pills that will prove you are sane, your social worker to connect you with additional resources, your case manager to oversee all of your appointments and resources, and so on. It sure looks like you have a lot of support! Any one of those individuals might actually support you and have your best interest in mind. Again, it’s not any one or even all of those people and their positions I despise. It’s THE SYSTEM. You won’t find any one of those professionals going rouge and encouraging anything other than the prescribed path of the medical model. Tell them you don’t need the pills or ask for an alternative and natural remedy. Watch the doors slam closed. There is a prescribed path to treatment that ensures everyone gets in on the money.
  2. The Money. (i.e.: insurance). Someone has to be making the decisions that make up the system. It’s your insurance. Most people depend on insurance to pay for anything related to “health.” We have been conditioned to do so. In fact, most people believe that health is defined by this system. Go back and read part 1 about deceptions we accept as reality. This is one of the first areas I started getting blips on my moral antenna. I didn’t see anything that looked like HEALTHcare happening. In fact, I saw a lot of people being encouraged to stay dependent on the system- the exact opposite of caring for their health.
  3. Diagnosis. In order for your insurance to pay for you to talk to someone, you must have a mental health disorder that is diagnosable. All of the time spent on learning how to diagnose people seemed very altruistic. Once I entered the clinical realm, aka real-world application, I had to re-learn how to diagnose everyone for access to services. This ultimately was my breaking point; something I will share more about later. The key here is that your diagnosis links you to other potential services (see #1) and keeps that money flowing through the system.
  4. Mental Health doesn’t exist. This may be the hardest truth you encounter today. It’s made up. It’s an extension of the medical model in which a severed and separate part of you is treated by physical (pharmaceutical) means for spontaneous dysfunction. That cannot be true. You are an ecosystem. There is no spontaneous dysfunction. Everything happens for a reason. Often the reason is simple and logical. Just because we don’t know the reason does not negate a logical cause and effect. The truth is, we actually DO know most of the reasons! (We being humanity, collectively, somewhere among us.) What I am saying is that the truth is out there. It’s hidden, maybe by the system that profits from causing “mental health issues.”

At this point, someone reading this is already rejecting a newly encountered truth. We are most likely to reject truth which threatens our identity. If that is you, let me extend to you grace and hope. You will find what you are meant to find when you are meant to have it. I believe that. Sometimes we see seeds being planted and don’t know when they will grow or what they will become. If you feel a sense of curiosity, of wonder, of intrigue, or any openness to new information, You are on the right path and will continue to find what you are meant to find as you are ready for it. Be blessed.


Part 3

This is part 3 of a 4 part series that will be released in November & December 2021. Part 1 introduces the topic of cognitive dissonance and the foundational truth that not everything is as it seems. Part 2 develops the process of accepting truth and the personal revelations that became apparent to me once I sought truth. Part 3 exposes the system and the moral conflict it creates. It also shines a light on the hope and reason of a better way.