Perspective is Powerful

What is the difference between a victim and a survivor? One views the offence as destructive and insurmountable, while the latter views the offence as an experience requiring coping and healing. Some situations can be a catalyst for change and growth in one person and yet can be an excuse for faltering in another. As I search for answers and a tangible path forward in the realm of healing, I look for tools that can turn a victim into a survivor. Possibly the most powerful tool I have ever encountered is perspective.

There is a saying that I quote a lot, “Everything you need is already inside of you.” There are various individuals whom that statement is attributed to, with a variety of different wording choices. I consider it public domain because it is a simple and timeless understanding that I believe to be part of the greater unconscious wisdom humanity carries. I remember the first time I heard that statement. It was spoken directly to me, in response to a situation I was facing, as a sort of answer on how I would overcome the obstacles I was facing. I can recall several other occasions of which that statement was repeated as a sort of confirmation that I was on the right path. Once I understood the power of perspective, that idea that all I need is inside of me became illuminated in a new way. Perspective is mine, an internal representation of what is happening in my environment.

First, we have perception. If conscious understanding is a two-way street, perception is the information coming in, while perspective is the information going out. We perceive the world around us through experience. The angle from which we see, the pieces we hear, process, and understand, and all the analytical data our minds can grasp form a perception. Our physical senses collect the data but our internal environment filters how we read it. A loud bang in a public space can be a curious occurrence, something exciting, or something terrifying, depending on the filter it is perceived through.

Then, whatever we have perceived and processed becomes projected through our perspective. One person, who has trauma involving gunshot, might have the perspective that the bang is a threat, or at the least an inappropriate action, and feel a proper response it to leave or escape the environment. Another person, who has worked in a factory and is desensitized to loud sounds from a loading dock, might barely register the bang and act as if nothing happened. A young child with no negative experience and no life experience involving loud sounds might become curious and look for the source of the noise to learn more about it. There is a valuable bit of wisdom in this example; the experience does not have the same power as the perspective which is formed around it.

What if changing your perspective could change your whole life, for the better? Would you want that outcome? If I told you that changing your perspective is a growth process, it does not come easily, but you are absolutely capable of success, would you invest in the process? Your answer to that question reveals your perspective about your inherent value. Yes, you are worthy of loving yourself and having the peace and abundance you desire. Your value is not in question, but maybe your perspective needs a tune up. Let’s fix that together.

Photo by Anthony DeRosa

If you found value in this article and would like to start a journey with life coaching, click here to send me a message.

Fixing a Broken Clock

Late: an adjective once used to describe me. It became a family inside joke that I had to be told the time for dinner was an hour before anyone else would show up so I would arrive on time. I was chronically late every day and always rushing! I was exhausted. It seemed the harder I tried to make deadlines the more I struggled to keep up. Sometimes I wondered if I was cursed. This affected every part of my life; family gatherings, church, classes and assignments, work, even rest. I couldn’t simply get to bed on time.

Here is the good news; I wasn’t cursed and neither are you. I was dysfunctional because I lacked understanding of time. What I didn’t understand back then is that time is subjective. When I hit the wall and decided I had to make a change; I discovered I had to change my thoughts about time.

Time management is effective based on two subjective tenets; 1) Perception of Time, 2) Value of Time.

Perception of Time

How long does it take you to tie your shoes? You have a pretty solid understanding of the time required to accomplish the task. Yet, how long will it take a 3 year old to tie his shoes? Any given task may require a different amount of time for different people based on a variety of circumstances. Our personal perception is built on experience. What I find most often in those I counsel on time management is many people were never given the opportunity to build their own perceptions of time because time was controlled for them. This was true for me.

As a child, I was told what to do and when to do it. Any task I was assigned came with a prompting to “do it now” and so I was raised on the principle of obedience in lieu of a principle of autonomy. I believe this made me a good child but didn’t prepare me to be a functioning adult. When I found myself suddenly responsible for my own life I was subconsciously awaiting prompting to do things. Even though I had gained independence and self responsibility to a degree as a teenager and young adult, the training of my childhood was a set internal pattern. It became a conflict that I did not know how to solve. With support, I learned how to understand my own perceptions of time and adequately measure tasks to my level of functioning.

Value of Time

Another element of having your time managed for you is that time retains no personal value. It would be like having someone who manages your money and spends it for you, making all of your financial decisions. When you ask “can I buy this?” and get a yes or no answer, the value of that item is irrelevant. In order to gain respect for the value of money, one must both earn and manage that money to understand its value. Time is no different than money in this manner. In order to gain respect for the value of time it must be personally managed.

In my journey of changing my thoughts about time, I had to begin to see time in quantity. Every task and expenditure of energy has a cost of my time. I could either learn the value of that time and plan ahead to invest properly or else continue accumulating periodic debt as I spent more time than I had. When I was able to understand these principles of time, my life became much more manageable. Now I use and teach tools of effective time management to help others who want to gain control and be present rather than always being late.