Tag: mindset

Posted on in Healing, mindset, Success

Perspective is Powerful

What is the difference between a victim and a survivor? One views the offence as destructive and insurmountable, while the latter views the offence as an experience requiring coping and healing. Some situations can be a catalyst for change and growth in one person and yet can be an excuse for faltering in another. As I search for answers and a tangible path forward in the realm of healing, I look for tools that can turn a victim into a survivor. Possibly the most powerful tool I have ever encountered is perspective.

There is a saying that I quote a lot, “Everything you need is already inside of you.” There are various individuals whom that statement is attributed to, with a variety of different wording choices. I consider it public domain because it is a simple and timeless understanding that I believe to be part of the greater unconscious wisdom humanity carries. I remember the first time I heard that statement. It was spoken directly to me, in response to a situation I was facing, as a sort of answer on how I would overcome the obstacles I was facing. I can recall several other occasions of which that statement was repeated as a sort of confirmation that I was on the right path. Once I understood the power of perspective, that idea that all I need is inside of me became illuminated in a new way. Perspective is mine, an internal representation of what is happening in my environment.

First, we have perception. If conscious understanding is a two-way street, perception is the information coming in, while perspective is the information going out. We perceive the world around us through experience. The angle from which we see, the pieces we hear, process, and understand, and all the analytical data our minds can grasp form a perception. Our physical senses collect the data but our internal environment filters how we read it. A loud bang in a public space can be a curious occurrence, something exciting, or something terrifying, depending on the filter it is perceived through.

Then, whatever we have perceived and processed becomes projected through our perspective. One person, who has trauma involving gunshot, might have the perspective that the bang is a threat, or at the least an inappropriate action, and feel a proper response it to leave or escape the environment. Another person, who has worked in a factory and is desensitized to loud sounds from a loading dock, might barely register the bang and act as if nothing happened. A young child with no negative experience and no life experience involving loud sounds might become curious and look for the source of the noise to learn more about it. There is a valuable bit of wisdom in this example; the experience does not have the same power as the perspective which is formed around it.

What if changing your perspective could change your whole life, for the better? Would you want that outcome? If I told you that changing your perspective is a growth process, it does not come easily, but you are absolutely capable of success, would you invest in the process? Your answer to that question reveals your perspective about your inherent value. Yes, you are worthy of loving yourself and having the peace and abundance you desire. Your value is not in question, but maybe your perspective needs a tune up. Let’s fix that together.

Photo by Anthony DeRosa

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Posted on in embodiment, Spirituality, trauma

Who Is Allowed To Touch You?

Certainly, you have experienced human energy. The shift when someone enters the room; either lighting it up or bringing it down. A person’s mood can cause a domino effect. The words we speak project our energy out into the environment, affecting those who receive them. Human energy is vital, alive, penetrating, and of great consequence. Anyone who has been in a long term relationship knows how a person affects a partner, for better or for worse. Those aren’t just empty vows. They are an energetic covenant which binds the intentions and actions of two souls together.

Even the small, daily, and passive actions cause shifts in the environment, including the people in it. It is important to be aware of what energy is affecting us and to proactively protect our own energy. An observation, most people are oblivious to energy exchange and go along being affected without the awareness to choose how to interact with other people’s energies. Our body language communicates the subtleties that we feel even when unaware. Sometimes we create distance when we are uncomfortable or cross our arms in a protective stance. If someone has positive, attractive energy, we may feel drawn to be closer to them or even touch them.

It’s important to realize that every person whom you allow to make physical contact with you is either drawing from your energy or depositing their own energy onto you, sometimes both. It affects your energy, your mental function, and even your physical body in some direct ways. Be wise, consider your own wellbeing. Learn ways to energetically protect your mind and body. Decide who may touch you, when, and how. Remember how powerful your own energy is and nurture it.

Posted on in Healing, Identity, Spirituality

Blooming with Deep Roots

Envision a beautiful flower; a deep, radiant shade of purple, with sturdy, full petals, a thick, hearty stem, and roots reaching deep into the soil, able to withstand any storm. See it as a plump bud being kissed by the springtime sun. As the rainy season ends, the sun comes close and wraps it’s light all around, nudging it to awaken. The petals take a deep breathe, opening wide, falling against one another, in a magnificent display of beauty, resilience, and purpose. A flower may blossom many times as it grows, starting to unfurl and showing glimpses of what it someday will be. Then, when fully developed and in its prime, that flower will bloom and fulfil it’s purpose of supporting life, creating new life, and bringing pleasure to the world around it.

The analogy of blooming with deep roots is one that resonates with me and my spiritual journey. In this season, I am blooming, fully rooted, resilient, and ready to fulfil my purpose. It was around 12 years ago that I began working as a spiritual coach and mentor. This preceded my start as a counselor and therapist, and ultimately, it’s what I came back to. Over the past 20 years, I have had mentors of my own from a variety of backgrounds and viewpoints. I have learned to value diversity of opinion and admire the way that many sources confirm the same truths. As a child, I was raised in a variety of religious settings rooted in Christianity. Even at a young age, I had evident spiritual gifts; knowledge, discernment of spirits, dreams/prophecy, and healing. As I have gone through my life journey, I have come to understand my gifts and embrace my potential. In fact, I love helping others to find their passions and live out their purpose as well.

I’ve learned that there are many names for the same things, depending on the culture that is defining it. You might accept that I’ve had prophetic dreams and spiritual knowledge, or you might understand it as clairvoyance, extrasensory perception, or say that I am an Empath. Any of those descriptions are accurate to what I experience. Regardless of the semantics, I have been using my spiritual gifts to help others for many years. I’ve helped people navigate their shadows and overcome trauma. I’ve facilitated physical and emotional healing. I’ve given guidance through deep processing, providing insight, and building up confidence through encouragement because of what I perceive. I’ve found a variety of tools to be helpful and as a lifelong student, I believe in sharing from an abundance of resources that provide support beyond my connection with someone.

I meet with people in dark places, in uncertainty, and with needs that require a kind of intimate knowing to grow through. We thrive in connection. We heal through connection. Even as I myself am healing parts of me, I have so much to offer others who are going through the places I’ve been. After all, I must heal myself if I am ever to help heal another. That is a life experience I have plenty of. Be Blessed.

Photo by Billel Moula

Posted on in Identity, Spirituality

The Woman with a Message

It was Mother’s Day, and I decided what I needed was a little spiritual healing. I chose to visit one of my favorite shops for something to light up my soul. There I met a woman with a message for me. From the very first exchange, she spoke words that were familiar to me; things I’ve been hearing a lot lately. She confirmed deep feelings I’ve been carrying. Some of it shined a bright spotlight on what I’ve been struggling with, revealing a need to let go, forgive, and move forward into blessings. Some of it spoke to my life purpose, which I am intimately aware of, and my deep need to embrace my confidence and do what I am meant to do. The thing is, I have been holding onto some old ideas, some expired dreams, and some parts of my past that simply aren’t meant to move with me into the next chapter of this life.

She saw my blocked voice and my hesitation to speak. Ironically, she is not the first person to point this out to me. It’s a message I’ve been dancing with for some time. She connected it to my purpose as a spiritual teacher. No less ironic, she is not the first person to boldly proclaim this calling in my life without knowing a thing about me other than my present energy. I’ve had a handful of guides over the years tell me directly that I am a spiritual teacher and healer. I know this with a certainty in my bones that it’s as much of who I am as the color of my eyes. Even my eyes reveal my destiny.

The most profound part of her message was how she honed in on my gift of writing, the fact that I’ve been stuck and not writing, and the intense need I have to write and share my story as part of my purpose and path as a healer. I’ve danced with this gift for years, writing for fun and education. I’ve worked on books that have never made it much farther than my fingertips. I experience great confidence and also great insecurity about the vulnerability of publishing my own mind. Yet, on a sunny May afternoon, I was brought to a woman with a message for me, which was that I am a woman with a message that needs to be shared. So here I am, taking the first step in a new direction, and telling the story of my own life.

Posted on in Personal Thoughts, Spirituality

Pt 4: Breaking Through the Surface

Like a baptism of the soul, as the dawn broke, she rose up from the brokenness with a new spirit in power. Her soul was cleansed in the fire, her body was cleansed in the blood, the reality of the power of her intention appeared in fullness, echoing assurance through her entire being. She is whole. She lacks nothing. She knows that love is alive in her.

In the darkness of a new moon, she set an intention to move through the transition, breaking her grip on the past and opening her arms wide towards the potential. In that shadow of the moon, she called out to the breathtaking, beautiful, divine feminine. As they came face to face, eye to eye, she saw her own reflection looking back at her, smiling in a wordless language that said, “You are enough. You possess all that you will ever need. Everything You desire is called to you by your thoughts, your intention, and your spoken declaration in love. Peace is at home in You. I am Yours, and You are Mine. Never forget who you are, who you came from, and where you are going.”

With confidence and poise, she lit each candle. She watched as they burned away what no longer served her. The transforming power of the flame dissipated something seen into something unseen, breaking loose every force in the universe to conspire for her good. She laid her head to rest with a peace unspeakable. She woke to the morning light with confirmation that her heart is pure, and her future is secure.

Posted on in Emotions, Identity, Personal Thoughts

Pt 3: Standing On My Own

Time is a fascinating concept. Anything can happen in slow motion or in the blink of an eye, the only difference being one’s perception in the moment. In this moment, it feels like some things are changing rapidly while others are moving painfully slow. A major contributing factor to my own perception is the work that’s already been done. Nothing spontaneously combusts. All of the proper elements must be in place to ignite, explode, and burn. It may appear as sudden, or unexpected, but truthfully it must be in progress before it can happen.

As the days pass by, I find myself swimming through deep oceans of thought, emotion, and experience. Every day looks different, even from one hour to the next. I’m no longer drowning. I’m remembering how to swim. Being on an island for so long, hanging on through massive storms, gave me a resilience I am now resting in. When my life first capsized, it was crushing being pulled under over and over again. Each break of the surface and every breath I would take, reminded me that I am alive, and I’ve survived many times.

So, I stood up. I decided that I can stand on my own, and I will. Only resistance is difficult. The moment you decide you can, and you will, then anything becomes a matter of simply doing the next logical thing and moving through each moment. Confidence is gained by stepping up to the plate and swinging until you hit. Once you’ve made a hit you just repeat that until the natural motions become the rhythm that your body knows, and the rest will flow. When you miss, you swing again. When you fall, you get back up. Sometimes what feels like a delay, or a mistake, is just what was needed for things to line up and give you a better chance. Change can bring freedom. It might not be easy but go live while you’re still alive.

Posted on in Personal Thoughts

My Journey Is My Own

The next question that came was, “Do you enjoy helping others?” My first thought was a curiosity of other perspectives. Do people think my work is all about helping others? Do people think my goal is to help people? What an interesting idea.

I don’t try to help others. It’s not my goal, or my intention, or my reason for doing what I do. Admittedly, my process often does help in terms of providing insight or resources. I believe if I approached my work with the goal of helping others, I would fail often. That’s a lot of pressure with little direction.

I believe there is a process of becoming, an unfolding of authentic identity that must occur for purpose and passion to meet. I did not embark on my journey to help others. I did it to help me. I did not sign up for college classes or earn degrees with the thought of how someone else could be more successful. I did it to acquire new knowledge that was aligned with my deepest values and to navigate my own beliefs, fears, and possibilities. I never embraced a role, a job, or a duty to be nice or helpful. I did it because I knew without a doubt I was where I belong, and it would create momentum for the next leap.

Who I am and what I do are aligned, intertwined, and inseparable. Along the way to get where I am now, there were many levels, many upgrades, plenty of challenges, and so much to learn! Here’s the thing; I’m not done growing and I’m going to keep going! I love where I am but I know there is more for me. I don’t always know what my presence will mean to someone else, but I know that if I show up where I am meant to be as myself, it will be powerful, meaningful, and moving. I wish for everyone to reach this understanding and move into authentic being. Imagine what the world could be like!

Posted on in personal development

Breathe Passion

Recently I was asked, “Do you love what you do?” Questions like this come up from time to time, especially when encountering someone new or new to what I do. It makes me laugh because the honest answer seems obvious to me. Of course, I love what I do! Why else would I do it?

In reality, a lot of people do things they don’t love. Sometimes there is good reason to do the necessary work of life. Sometimes the thing you are doing isn’t what fulfills you, but it is a pathway towards your true fulfillment. In a perfect world, anyone who answers “no” to the question of loving what you do would follow with a “but” that describes why they do it and how they are truly happy. Income isn’t always tied to passion.

I feel very blessed to say my work is my passion. I’ve been doing it so long now; I sometimes forget how long the road really was for me. I didn’t always love the work I had to do. I didn’t always love school and the things I was required to learn to move up and acquire more. In fact, it took me no less than a decade to reach the point where I had organized things just well enough to move into the career field I was pursuing. In that time, I spent thousands of hours in classrooms and hundreds more in jobs that were necessary, maybe fun, sometimes unpleasant, but in any case, it was all part of the journey.

Every part of my journey has been a learning experience. I don’t expect that to stop now. So, embrace where you are along your path, even if you don’t know the destination or even the next turn. We face detours, reroutes, construction, vast miles of emptiness, traffic jams, stops, and every other challenge a road offers in life. Yet, there is much beauty to behold and there can always be a next destination rather than a final one.

Posted on in embodiment, mindset, Success

The Work of Life

In the work that I do, I am privileged to a multitude of insights and perspectives. From one-on-one coaching sessions to support groups, working with individuals, couples, and family dynamics, and being presented with personal experiences from any category of life you can think of. It’s a blessing for an inquiring mind. I’ve always been fascinated by the human mind with a disposition towards wanting to understand how things (and people) work. Even with all of this data surrounding my everyday conversations, my best teacher has been my own experience.

Often, I am perplexed by the passiveness by which people choose to live their lives. There’s an old saying about humans being creatures of habit and surely that is what I see more often than not. Over many years, life is made up of simple routines and repeat activities for so many people. Here’s the catch; if your routines and activities are that which you want your life to be made of, you’re living the dream! However, for many people there is a heavy cloak of unhappiness, regret, and discontentment that veils the life they don’t really want to be living.

Life is work, plain and simple. Either you will work hard at carrying a heavy burden and presenting a facade to the people you care about, or you will work hard to build that which makes you truly happy. There is no lazy life because inactivity sacrifices experience. In certain moments we may float through life without much active ambition, but if those moments persist, we will miss out on the actual living.

Time and time again, I hear people complain about effort. Things are labeled as “too hard” and so passions are given up. Inconveniences become overwhelming and so things with meaning are neglected and never taken up again. The irony is that these same people appear to be blind to how much effort they expend making excuses and rerouting their lives into things that suck all of their energy with negativity. It’s exhausting to observe and so frustrating to know that a matter of choice could literally change the world for a person.

Think about it. Then decide what you want and live your life to the fullest, accomplishing your purpose, your dreams, and the great adventures of life. It might be difficult and even full of obstacles, but you were made to do it.

Posted on in mindset, Spirituality

Magic Numbers and Intuition

If you would only keep your eyes open long enough, surely you would see the signs and mentions of things beyond the normal. Some call it supernatural, or paranormal, or spiritual, among other things. Maybe it’s magic, or maybe we just miss the absolute wonder of life that is always there. Open the eyes of understanding and after awhile the lines a separation begin to fade and everything appears to be connected in ways that are undeniably perfection in their creation. There is no lack of beauty, awe, or wonder all around us if only we would find it. Give it some time, and that which first seems beyond the normal will become quite normal after all.

Once in the realm of superstition, now there is a wide acceptance of simple things having profound meaning. Have you ever seen an angel number? Have you ever noticed a pattern of something popping up in your life as if to present an important message? Have you ever noticed your intuition guiding you toward or away from something without questioning the logic behind it?

We can accept that patterns exist in almost everything. Cycles are the way of the world; the clock repeats every 12 hours, every day has a sunrise and sunset, each month holds a new moon and it’s circle of fullness, the year has it’s seasons, and so on. It’s our awareness of anything outside of self that causes us to notice these nuances and become an active part of the great system. All possibility already exists and anything that will be is already in motion. Most people coast through life unaware of so much that exists all around them. Yet, when the internal world of our awareness and intuition allows us to focus on the synchronicity of everything we are a part of, there is power in our action. That power is intention.

When anything shows up in our awareness, the power is not in that thing, but in our awareness of the potential so that we can set an intention to influence anything. Actions influence outcomes. Words set intentions. Thoughts facilitate energy. Emotions align our intentions and values. Everything is connected. Potential is unlimited. Life is full of magic when you’re living it.