Tag: Healing

Posted on in embodiment, Emotions, mindset

Healing the Body Through Stress-Response

When you are stressed-out, what does it feel like? Is your mind cluttered, bogged down, or racing? Is your body tense or exhausted? The particular combination of symptoms that we might experience with stress is different for each person and often different with each situation. Yet, we all experience stress at times with different levels of severity. So what is stress?

Physical stress is a form of strain or exerted pressure. As a building is constructed, there is stress on the structure as it bears the load of each layer. In physical mechanics it is necessary for stress to be balanced and dispersed so that there is no point over stressed and weakening the overall structure. This applies to the human body as well.

Only in the body, it’s not stress on steel beams or wooden floors from weight and tension. It’s a balance of chemicals and emotions that apply pressure to the physical structure of the body. Just as a broken screw can compromise a building over time, a broken neuroreceptor can compromise the physical health of the body over time. In both cases, the issue may not be apparent until something big enough strikes, like a hurricane- either of water or emotion, that overwhelms the system and causes it to fail.

Emotions are powerful. They have a great physical impact on the body. The ripple effect can alter hormones, neurotransmitters, and consciousness. If you want to take a deep dive, study the emotion to body connection and impact of serotonin, dopamine, gamma-aminobutyric, glutamate, and norepinephrine, just to get you started. Emotions can stem from the release of these kinds of chemicals, but they can also create the release when the body follows the action to thought pathway. There is a lot of research that reveals just how we can control the body through mindset and thoughts.

If any of this is new to you, I encourage you to get well acquainted with your body and the literature that teaches you how to take control and drive these processes. To change the world, I must first change myself. Go and do likewise. I’ve got resources to help you on your journey.

Posted on in embodiment, mindset

It’s Already There

Maybe you’ve been told that everything you need is already inside of you. You are fully equipped with the biological capacity to thrive, heal, grow, and adapt. Your body, mind, and spirit are interconnected, intelligent, and creative. Isn’t it fascinating?

In fact, anything you could ever want or need is already out there on a trajectory of it’s own manifestation. If you can think it, it is possible. Technology proves that humanity can take raw substance and develop complex systems and tools. You simply have align yourself with that trajectory to come across what you need to accomplish what you want. It’s so very simple.

It breaks my heart when people resist the answer to their needs. Sometimes I have an answer, possessing knowledge that can alleviate much suffering, but if the person is unwilling to receive it, that knowledge is powerless to that person in the moment. The only thing that stands between a person and their healing is their mindset. The mind is such a powerful thing that can manifest miracles and also imprison the inhabitant if the wrong programming is installed.

How have you been programmed? What is your mind resisting, allowing, or manifesting?

Posted on in Emotions, Personal Thoughts

RElationships, Love & Pain

A comforting scripture reference from my earliest childhood memories taught me that God keeps no record of our wrongs. From the silly mistakes to the outright rebellion, all is forgivable in God’s eyes. What a truly incredible concept. People certainly do not have that superpower. People often don’t forgive, and they never forget.

I’m blessed with a curse, some might say, in that I have the ability to see people through the eyes of Love. I know it’s a gift, but it sure has stirred up some people throughout my lifetime. I’m quick to forgive. I believe in reconciliation. I understand that a person is not defined by thoughts or actions alone.

So then, how do we handle the greatest of offenses? How do we live with what we can’t forget? My energy isn’t usually matched in willingness to let go and carry on when I value a relationship. I’ve even found myself caught in a triangle where two opposing parties won’t budge and so I end up hurt because any choice I make will cause friction. Man, it’s a painful place to live.

Lately, I’ve been thinking more about how the past is permanent. The words that have been said can’t be unsaid. Choices and actions, once committed, permanently alter the path forward. Of course, a change in direction is always possible. Yet, what’s done is done. We can hold on tight and allow it to dictate our existence. Or we can let go and make room for what could be.

In relationships, love trumps pain, if we embrace love. Sadly, some people are married to pain. Maybe there’s unhealed trauma blocking the road to forgiveness. Maybe pride won’t open the gate. Any obstacle in your mind is only keeping you from healing yourself and your relationships. Don’t let that be your story. Someday, you’ll be long gone but your story can bring healing in generations to come.

Posted on in Personal Thoughts

The Problem with Health Insurance and Therapy

We all need someone to talk to sometimes, someone to listen, to care, to process, to advise us occasionally, and to support us through transitions in life. I teach a pyramid of support. At the bottom, the foundation layer, you have the support that is closest to you in proximity. This includes your family and friends, peers and coworkers, acquaintances, and social connections. It’s the people who form your daily interactions and will likely show up to your funeral. At the tippy top of the pyramid is the rarest and most professional support you might ever need; think psychiatrist, plastic surgeon, or criminal defense attorney. Some people never need this level of support. If you do have a need in this category, it is likely there is no alternative because it is so specialized.

The middle part of the pyramid between the bookends includes a variety of styles and levels of support. I call this the “can’t do it myself and I need some help” section. Skilled trades and professional services fall into this section. It’s the people who provide you something you can’t do for yourself. Narrowing in on the category of mental health, this section includes therapists, counselors, mentors, social workers, life coaches, health coaches, doctors, nurses, trainers, and more. There are many people in many roles who offer different flavors of support but ultimately are purposed to help you make the most of your life and find true wellness.

Unfortunately, in our society, money and the systems it flows through controls the narrative. In recent decades, “health insurance” has become the standard decision maker in people’s care. Many professionals who are connected to the “health care system” are under the influence of the people behind insurance. So, when therapy transitioned to a health-care service in order to qualify for coverage, it became a pawn of the industry too. What does this mean for you?

Concisely, if you use your health insurance to cover a service, it must be deemed a medically necessary treatment. Said another way, anything that your insurance pays for must be justified as a treatment of a disease or disorder. Your therapist has to diagnose you with a mental health disorder and then notate your treatment to get paid. I’ve talked about this before in sharing why I left the clinical world of professional counseling. The system is not aligned with my moral standard. For a small group of individuals, this insurance benefit is a great thing! But most people are walking around believing they have mental health issues that they don’t. In fact, socially it is common to make light of serious disorders because they have become so familiar to us. I find this to be a tragedy and disservice to humanity.

It’s time to start viewing money, healthcare, and professional support differently. It’s not what most people think it is. This is why I offer the services that I do and at a rate that does not compete with insurance. I believe in the power of support for personal growth and wellness. We’re all trying to make a living doing something we love. I’m also trying to change the world by flowing under the mainstream current for the greater good. It’s not easy standing alone but it’s worth it. I’ll tell you the hard truth. I hope you receive it.

Posted on in embodiment, personal development

Personal Mastery

It has become apparent to me, as I’ve gained the sort of insight that comes with age, that competition is vanity. In most categories, the act of competing against someone else is only to the end of assigning an arbitrary status of greater than or less than. It is also apparent to me that the value of dominating over others is superficial, where the value of personal mastery is great.

If you’re going to do a thing, do it well. Incompetence is rampant and much business is conducted by people who have no business doing so. I hold to the value that people should be doing what they are most passionate about, but until they are able to acquire that level of accomplishment, they should do well at whatever they are responsible for doing.

There is one thing that each and every person should master and that is knowing the self. I believe the Greeks were accredited with the slogan “Know Thyself” but it’s a rather universal and basic pillar. Yet so many people slide through life without really knowing, understanding, or accepting their personal experience. In fact, we seek outward in others what can be learned directly in our own very capable experience. Human beings are primed to learn through sensory exploration, as evidenced by the natural, unaided development of the first years of life. A baby will learn to eat, walk, talk, and begin to behave according to expectations and social norms without any prescription of systematic instruction. Our minds are quite incredible.

My aim is to provide insight and tools to help others on their journeys of personal mastery. Teaching embodiment is foundational to the level of self-acceptance necessary for true personal growth. In two weeks, I am hosting a Personal Mastery Workshop which will be both educational and hands-on. I welcome you to come and join us in opening your mind to get to know your-self.

Posted on in Identity, personal development

Your Tribe Needs You

In a morning conversation today, a wise woman gave me the reminder that human beings, by nature, are tribal and rooted in relationship. I was in thought about how to plan my writing in a way that had the most value and was contemplating how relationships are central to the way we live. Quite often, our identity is deeply woven into the relationships we value. We take on names and titles like mother, wife, and _____ member. No single role title defines who we are, but it certainly gives shape to the greater image we bear.

How I show up to my relationships matters. Conflict is within the realm of relationship. Certainly, on my own I do not need conflict because I can do what I want to do. It’s when the ideas or expectations of others impose on my autonomy that conflict arises. So, in application, conflict is a tool for the shaping of my character. How I receive it, process it, and react to it will always leave an impression on my life and the lives which are entangled with me in that conflict.

You can’t show up in relationships unhealed without exposing others to your pain. You also can’t gain the greatest benefits from relationship until you are whole and able to give and receive without conditions. Yet, we always grow in light of the growing pains in relationship. In other words, the need for repair in relationship triggers mending of the self. If we are blessed with support, that mending reaches a deep, personal level that goes beyond the surface of the connection we are investing in.

Do the work. Heal the parts of you that long to be part of the whole. Integrate yourself so that you can show up and lead others into their greatest journeys. Allow yourself to be lead, through meaningful learning, by others who have walked where you are before you. Embrace connection for all it gives and be willing to show up for your tribe in ways that uplift the lowest and uphold the highest values.

I’m going to take you on a journey through the topic of relationships and help you find your healing. Stay connected for more.

Posted on in mindset, Success

The Truth About Self-Care

It’s become repeated so much that it’s almost nauseating to say, self-care. What is self-care and are you doing it wrong? Most people have the completely wrong idea about what this thing is and how to go about it. Let me help you see it a little differently.

The answers are usually similar when I ask, “what are you doing to take care of yourself?” Popular responses include, watching tv, taking a yearly vacation, walking the dog, eating something to sooth emotions, getting a pedicure, and going out to lunch with friends every couple of months. Some people are surprised to learn that none of that is self-care. Some of it qualifies as self-pampering and that’s an okay thing to do! Some of it is the opposite of care and is actually toxic and destructive.

So, what is self-care? Let’s look at this from another angle. If you were given sole responsibility of a small child for the day, what kinds of things would you do to take care of her? There are some obvious basics like safety and nourishment. That would get you by for a moment and is absolutely necessary care. Spend a little more time with your tiny tot and you will quickly realize she has needs for connection, affection, releasing energy, engaging imagination, learning, exploring her environment, etc. The care of a child is quite involved in order for her to thrive and flourish.

As an adult, you are the provider of self-care, or in other words, the sole responsible party to meet your basic care needs. You become, figuratively, the small child you are caring for and the responsible adult providing that care. Your self-care should look like the things you do every day to meet your physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. The occasional spa day or vacation can certainly contribute to that but it’s not enough alone! Imagine someone asking how things are going with taking care of your new little bundle-of-joy and you respond, “Well she got a massage last month and there is a family vacation coming up next summer she’s looking forward to.” That’s often the kind of mindset I encounter with self-care.

There is so much you can do for yourself. It comes down to individual decisions. Every choice you make throughout every day can contribute to your self-care being a healthy expression of self-love. Our needs are fairly consistent throughout life even though how we meet them can change.

So, how are you taking care of yourself today?

Posted on in Emotions, mindset

Triggered

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

This week I wrote a guest post on another blog. It was a simple encouragement about the possibility of overcoming social anxiety. This is an arena where I have a lot of experience and I have first-hand success in helping people overcome anxiety. There is a defining mindset that absolutely matters when trying to overcome any mental obstacle. What you believe matters.

This could not be more evident than when interacting on social media. People display what they believe in how they respond to any challenging thought. Some people become invested supporters because they see the vision. Others become boisterous opposition because they cannot accept anything that challenges what they believe. Those are the people who are clinging to excuses and are not yet capable of true change. Wouldn’t you know, they came for me when I suggested that anxiety can be overcome! How dare I offer to take away their crutches and show them how to walk!

Okay, I’m being slightly flippant while enjoying the show. I love how people say everything you need to know without speaking. This illuminated a concept for me that is too good not to share. Trigger safety matters.

Where you point the barrel matters. How you place your finger matters. Knowing your equipment matters. If we are talking about real guns, every part of gun safety matters. Who would argue that? Trauma and emotional regulation are a lot like holding a loaded gun. The second the trigger is pulled, your control ends. The bullet will hit what it was aimed at. You have to be prepared for the possible outcomes prior to the trigger pull.

Trauma loads a bullet. It becomes your responsibility to learn your equipment, maintain it in good working order, and always be aware of where the barrel is pointed. Your mind and body are the equipment. If left unattended, unkept, you become vulnerable to someone pulling your trigger. They say guns don’t kill people and there is always a person pulling the trigger. What does that say about trauma and our responsibility to heal?

I know it’s deep, inspiring, or maybe challenging to think about trauma in this way. Just like social anxiety, I believe you can overcome it. Healing is possible.

Posted on in Identity, mindset

Trauma is a Buzzword

Everywhere from social media to mainstream media, people are talking about trauma. Like no other time in history, we have access to an abundance of trauma-informed care options that range from self-help to professional help. Even the term, trauma-informed, is a cultural norm in 2022. So where did all this trauma come from? Are there really so many people with trauma?

Traditionally, trauma was viewed as a major, life-altering, negative event. War, natural disaster, death, loss, divorce, abuse, etc. were all the well-known causes of trauma. Today, it seems like anything can be considered traumatic depending on what definition you apply to it. There is some truth to this. How we experience an event can mean much more than the event itself. That’s why a group of people can go through the same disaster and come out with very different effects. Yet, if state-of-mind determines if something is traumatic, then being stuck in trauma response would logically create more trauma with new situations. Seems like quite the cycle.

When I embarked on my journey as a counselor over a decade ago, my vantage point was a trauma-informed therapist. My own life story contains the pain which lead to me wanting to help others. Not only did I have first-hand experience, but I trained and studied in the various theories and modalities that would help me to help others the way I had been helped. At some point along the way, as trauma became a mainstream concept, I started to pull back from seeking out the trauma in others. Honestly, it is overwhelming to be aware of and intimately involved in the pain and healing process of others.

Recently, I have come to accept that the things which were healed in me, still exist in me. Even though triggers lost their power and coping was replaced by understanding, I am shaped by my experiences. Both the undoing and the rebuilding are mine. Life takes me through cycles where I find a sensitivity, I deconstruct the ideology which is causing me pain, I heal and define my own understanding, and I use it to help the next soul who is brought my way. Today, like so many years ago, my passion to heal the world starts with healing a newly uncovered part of me.

Posted on in embodiment, mindset, personal development, Success

Movement

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Since the word March is both the current month and an action one can perform, it seems fitting to make this month all about movement. (Yes, I am a grammar nerd.) In this 2022 series, last month we talked about embodiment which includes how we move in and live in our bodies. This month I want to talk about movement because it is absolutely foundational to health and wellness.

If you fail to move, you will allow disorder in the body. Most people who encounter disease give up movement in the process. It is cyclic cause and effect. Even the “mental health disorders” directly affect physical movement. Depression generates lethargy. Anxiety gives rise to “freezing” or feeling paralyzed to act or move. Psychosis can in fact lock someone in their head, causing dissociation from the body and mental absence from the present moment. When movement ceases, the many systems of the body deteriorate and create complex issues. At this moment, I want to say that if you are struggling with a mental or physical ailment that resonates with this idea, please seek professional help. You must have support and a process to get healthy again.

For those of us who fall into the range of normal in our health and wellness, even if there is room for improvement, let’s talk about how we are moving. How active are you? Do you move from one place to another throughout the day with little to no physical activity? How often do you exercise for pleasure? Something strange has happened in our culture where exercise became a dirty word and people who are physically unhealthy look down on people who do it. I believe we need to get back to exercise being the norm. Not necessarily going to a gym or artificial movement, although for some that is a great outlet. We need to learn to find our natural movement and embrace it. We are alive and should be active!

Over the upcoming weeks, if you follow me on social media, I am going to be sharing little thoughts and tips all about movement. I hope you will check it out and actually ponder each concept. If you identify an obstacle in your mindset or motivation about movement and increasing your physical health, connect with me. I’d love to support you and provide accountability in your journey.