Posted on in Identity, personal development

Your Tribe Needs You

In a morning conversation today, a wise woman gave me the reminder that human beings, by nature, are tribal and rooted in relationship. I was in thought about how to plan my writing in a way that had the most value and was contemplating how relationships are central to the way we live. Quite often, our identity is deeply woven into the relationships we value. We take on names and titles like mother, wife, and _____ member. No single role title defines who we are, but it certainly gives shape to the greater image we bear.

How I show up to my relationships matters. Conflict is within the realm of relationship. Certainly, on my own I do not need conflict because I can do what I want to do. It’s when the ideas or expectations of others impose on my autonomy that conflict arises. So, in application, conflict is a tool for the shaping of my character. How I receive it, process it, and react to it will always leave an impression on my life and the lives which are entangled with me in that conflict.

You can’t show up in relationships unhealed without exposing others to your pain. You also can’t gain the greatest benefits from relationship until you are whole and able to give and receive without conditions. Yet, we always grow in light of the growing pains in relationship. In other words, the need for repair in relationship triggers mending of the self. If we are blessed with support, that mending reaches a deep, personal level that goes beyond the surface of the connection we are investing in.

Do the work. Heal the parts of you that long to be part of the whole. Integrate yourself so that you can show up and lead others into their greatest journeys. Allow yourself to be lead, through meaningful learning, by others who have walked where you are before you. Embrace connection for all it gives and be willing to show up for your tribe in ways that uplift the lowest and uphold the highest values.

I’m going to take you on a journey through the topic of relationships and help you find your healing. Stay connected for more.

Posted on in mindset, Success

The Truth About Self-Care

It’s become repeated so much that it’s almost nauseating to say, self-care. What is self-care and are you doing it wrong? Most people have the completely wrong idea about what this thing is and how to go about it. Let me help you see it a little differently.

The answers are usually similar when I ask, “what are you doing to take care of yourself?” Popular responses include, watching tv, taking a yearly vacation, walking the dog, eating something to sooth emotions, getting a pedicure, and going out to lunch with friends every couple of months. Some people are surprised to learn that none of that is self-care. Some of it qualifies as self-pampering and that’s an okay thing to do! Some of it is the opposite of care and is actually toxic and destructive.

So, what is self-care? Let’s look at this from another angle. If you were given sole responsibility of a small child for the day, what kinds of things would you do to take care of her? There are some obvious basics like safety and nourishment. That would get you by for a moment and is absolutely necessary care. Spend a little more time with your tiny tot and you will quickly realize she has needs for connection, affection, releasing energy, engaging imagination, learning, exploring her environment, etc. The care of a child is quite involved in order for her to thrive and flourish.

As an adult, you are the provider of self-care, or in other words, the sole responsible party to meet your basic care needs. You become, figuratively, the small child you are caring for and the responsible adult providing that care. Your self-care should look like the things you do every day to meet your physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. The occasional spa day or vacation can certainly contribute to that but it’s not enough alone! Imagine someone asking how things are going with taking care of your new little bundle-of-joy and you respond, “Well she got a massage last month and there is a family vacation coming up next summer she’s looking forward to.” That’s often the kind of mindset I encounter with self-care.

There is so much you can do for yourself. It comes down to individual decisions. Every choice you make throughout every day can contribute to your self-care being a healthy expression of self-love. Our needs are fairly consistent throughout life even though how we meet them can change.

So, how are you taking care of yourself today?

Posted on in Personal Thoughts

Changing Seasons

Happy Autumn Blessings! This is absolutely my favorite time of the year, for many reasons. I love the cooler weather and the beautiful colors of nature. For me, this is a slow down time every year. The busyness of summer has fizzled out and the bustle of the holiday season hasn’t quite taken off. It is an atmosphere of peace and contentment.

This year in particular, I am welcoming the slow-down of October. There has been a lot going on! We purchased our forever home and did a complete renovation of this little farmhouse. (It’s still a work in progress.) I expanded my business and now have a local studio location for Bodywork. (Have you checked out that tab yet?) I headed many community projects as I’ve been absorbing myself in the local rural area where we’ve chosen to settle down. Including starting a digital newspaper, which is in large part why my blog has been so quiet all summer. Writing and editing a newspaper takes a chunk of time each week! I also birthed another dream as a branch of my business in Whole Well Women and we just wrapped up the completion of our first ever women’s conference!

To say the least, I’ve been busy. I don’t recommend doing everything you possibly can in life all at once. It’s exhausting! I am ambitious and I took the bargain of a season of hustle to bring me to the point where I can hopefully step back and nurture these things with much less stress. I am incredibly proud of myself for pulling through this year. I know, it isn’t over yet. I still have a book to publish that took a back seat for a while and I am returning to my commitment of regular publishing here. This serves as an update to catch you up on all that’s been pulling me away and let you know, I’m back!

So much more is coming soon! If you haven’t heard it lately, let me remind you- pursue your passions! Create your dreams and show up for your life- the one you really want.

Posted on in Emotions

Art in the Park Festival

Therapeutic Art Workshops

Next week I’m bringing out the brushes and colors to get some expression flowing! Therapeutic Art is a technique in which we use the tools of artistry to express thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Human beings are creative and expressive by nature. Conflict and trauma can create blocks which cause us to limit our expression. Guided, therapeutic art can be a mode of emotional release. It can help with processing, seeking understanding, forgiving and letting go, or birthing and developing new ideas.

Saturday, June 11th, from 1-4pm, I will be set up at Harrison Smith Park in Upper Sandusky, as a vendor for the festival. We will have a workshop every hour where you can come paint with us! You can find the registration for this workshop HERE.

Posted on in Emotions, mindset

Triggered

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

This week I wrote a guest post on another blog. It was a simple encouragement about the possibility of overcoming social anxiety. This is an arena where I have a lot of experience and I have first-hand success in helping people overcome anxiety. There is a defining mindset that absolutely matters when trying to overcome any mental obstacle. What you believe matters.

This could not be more evident than when interacting on social media. People display what they believe in how they respond to any challenging thought. Some people become invested supporters because they see the vision. Others become boisterous opposition because they cannot accept anything that challenges what they believe. Those are the people who are clinging to excuses and are not yet capable of true change. Wouldn’t you know, they came for me when I suggested that anxiety can be overcome! How dare I offer to take away their crutches and show them how to walk!

Okay, I’m being slightly flippant while enjoying the show. I love how people say everything you need to know without speaking. This illuminated a concept for me that is too good not to share. Trigger safety matters.

Where you point the barrel matters. How you place your finger matters. Knowing your equipment matters. If we are talking about real guns, every part of gun safety matters. Who would argue that? Trauma and emotional regulation are a lot like holding a loaded gun. The second the trigger is pulled, your control ends. The bullet will hit what it was aimed at. You have to be prepared for the possible outcomes prior to the trigger pull.

Trauma loads a bullet. It becomes your responsibility to learn your equipment, maintain it in good working order, and always be aware of where the barrel is pointed. Your mind and body are the equipment. If left unattended, unkept, you become vulnerable to someone pulling your trigger. They say guns don’t kill people and there is always a person pulling the trigger. What does that say about trauma and our responsibility to heal?

I know it’s deep, inspiring, or maybe challenging to think about trauma in this way. Just like social anxiety, I believe you can overcome it. Healing is possible.

Posted on in mindset

Organization

Today there are 19 days of the month of April behind me. It would seem that I’ve lost track of time, or that I’ve been too busy, and so it feels as if time is moving quicker than it should. In reality, most of time is outside of our awareness. It takes discipline, and sometimes tools, to manage time. In fact, time management is one area where I’ve done a lot of work with people. It’s a common struggle to synchronize with time. Is it possible that this struggle exists because we are actually created to be timeless? I believe there is a deep, spiritual principal hidden in this mystery.

In any case, while we are present in this existence, we are bound by time. We are also responsible for managing physical matter; our bodies included, as well as our possessions and surroundings. If you’ve been present with me on social media this month, we’ve been talking about all these different aspects to organizing one’s life. It’s no small task!

Every level of organization starts with a single decision. It continues by each single decision. Don’t focus so much on huge milestones that you miss the simple steps which will carry you there. Underlying the organization of one’s life is the principle of minimalism. Now, I know there are those of you out there who will disagree with me. Some of you are very attached to your possessions and wouldn’t dream of minimizing what you carry in this life. You are welcome to accumulate and carry as much weight as you can hold. The fact is everyone has a limit. I am often working with people on decluttering and reducing material possessions because the outside environment has taken an ill effect on the internal environment (mind and emotions). True minimalism is a principle, a mindset, and lens through which you view the world. It’s not about reaching a magical number of photos, books, or kitchen mugs. It’s about loving what you have, that which is useful, and not attaching yourself to material possessions.

I could write a book on this topic! Maybe I will. If you are struggling with the organization in your life, whether it’s your thoughts, emotions, time, energy, possessions, relationships, etc., I am here to help you find your way. Connect with me if you’d like to go deeper.

Posted on in Identity, mindset

Trauma is a Buzzword

Everywhere from social media to mainstream media, people are talking about trauma. Like no other time in history, we have access to an abundance of trauma-informed care options that range from self-help to professional help. Even the term, trauma-informed, is a cultural norm in 2022. So where did all this trauma come from? Are there really so many people with trauma?

Traditionally, trauma was viewed as a major, life-altering, negative event. War, natural disaster, death, loss, divorce, abuse, etc. were all the well-known causes of trauma. Today, it seems like anything can be considered traumatic depending on what definition you apply to it. There is some truth to this. How we experience an event can mean much more than the event itself. That’s why a group of people can go through the same disaster and come out with very different effects. Yet, if state-of-mind determines if something is traumatic, then being stuck in trauma response would logically create more trauma with new situations. Seems like quite the cycle.

When I embarked on my journey as a counselor over a decade ago, my vantage point was a trauma-informed therapist. My own life story contains the pain which lead to me wanting to help others. Not only did I have first-hand experience, but I trained and studied in the various theories and modalities that would help me to help others the way I had been helped. At some point along the way, as trauma became a mainstream concept, I started to pull back from seeking out the trauma in others. Honestly, it is overwhelming to be aware of and intimately involved in the pain and healing process of others.

Recently, I have come to accept that the things which were healed in me, still exist in me. Even though triggers lost their power and coping was replaced by understanding, I am shaped by my experiences. Both the undoing and the rebuilding are mine. Life takes me through cycles where I find a sensitivity, I deconstruct the ideology which is causing me pain, I heal and define my own understanding, and I use it to help the next soul who is brought my way. Today, like so many years ago, my passion to heal the world starts with healing a newly uncovered part of me.

Posted on in embodiment, mindset, personal development, Success

Movement

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Since the word March is both the current month and an action one can perform, it seems fitting to make this month all about movement. (Yes, I am a grammar nerd.) In this 2022 series, last month we talked about embodiment which includes how we move in and live in our bodies. This month I want to talk about movement because it is absolutely foundational to health and wellness.

If you fail to move, you will allow disorder in the body. Most people who encounter disease give up movement in the process. It is cyclic cause and effect. Even the “mental health disorders” directly affect physical movement. Depression generates lethargy. Anxiety gives rise to “freezing” or feeling paralyzed to act or move. Psychosis can in fact lock someone in their head, causing dissociation from the body and mental absence from the present moment. When movement ceases, the many systems of the body deteriorate and create complex issues. At this moment, I want to say that if you are struggling with a mental or physical ailment that resonates with this idea, please seek professional help. You must have support and a process to get healthy again.

For those of us who fall into the range of normal in our health and wellness, even if there is room for improvement, let’s talk about how we are moving. How active are you? Do you move from one place to another throughout the day with little to no physical activity? How often do you exercise for pleasure? Something strange has happened in our culture where exercise became a dirty word and people who are physically unhealthy look down on people who do it. I believe we need to get back to exercise being the norm. Not necessarily going to a gym or artificial movement, although for some that is a great outlet. We need to learn to find our natural movement and embrace it. We are alive and should be active!

Over the upcoming weeks, if you follow me on social media, I am going to be sharing little thoughts and tips all about movement. I hope you will check it out and actually ponder each concept. If you identify an obstacle in your mindset or motivation about movement and increasing your physical health, connect with me. I’d love to support you and provide accountability in your journey.

Posted on in embodiment

This Moment is Everything

If you’ve joined me on social media this month you know I am talking about embodiment. It’s a foundational element that underlies everything else I teach. Your ability to be present and experience your life will impact your satisfaction and success in life. I’ve shared about the major and minor senses, grounding, presence, movement, balance, and release. These are tools I use personally to live an embodied life.

A popular sentiment in this generation is the idea of being “a spirit that possesses a body.” That idea has been repeated so much that it is casually and mindlessly accepted by people who are reaching for reasons for things they are experiencing. It perpetuates a disconnect from the physical which ultimately distracts us from living out our true form. Humanity is physical being. We are created in bodily form. In fact, Biblically, man was formed of the earth prior to being breathed into with the Spirit or breath of God. This is so important because to miss out on physical experience is to miss out on life!

Being present in this moment is the most active thing anyone can do. You cannot affect the past. You cannot create the future except by how you live this moment. Once embodiment is realized, freedom ensues. Grounding yourself in your literal existence gives you power to experience freedom, happiness, and satisfaction. If you feel disconnected or stuck, I can help you create balance and find yourself again.

Posted on in personal development, Spirituality, Success

Embodiment

What do you think of when you hear the word “embody“? The idea of embodiment involves giving a physical form or expression to something. We can embody a value through personification. It has to do with tangible expression. I want you to think of it as simply experiencing your existence through your physical body.

Assuming you are a human reading this, you are a physical being. You are a body, illuminated with life, with the ability to experience living through your senses. We have senses that come through our physical organs, mind and soul. If you are not grounded in your body and aware of your senses, you may potentially miss a lot of the experience of living.

Humanity is privileged with organized thought. The mind is a powerful tool that advances us through both societal progression and personal development. However, a pitfall of the mind is getting caught up in your headspace. People are chronic overthinkers. The responsibilities we’ve created lead to stress which leaves us overthinking more and less embodied. I’m on a mission to change that.

Embodiment is the experience of feeling what you touch, or what touches you. It is seeing what’s in front of you, listening to comprehend, tasting what nourishes you, and so much more. It is an awareness of how your body responds to your environment. It is the presence of emotion, awareness of meaning, and understanding how to respond. It is how you experience the world around you and yourself.

This is such an exciting and powerful topic. Every week I work with individuals on the process of embodiment and how to build these skills. I’ve seen it work to reduce stress, reduce pain, increase happiness, discover passion, heal relationships, and increase quality of life, work, and success. If you want to develop your skills and realize your own embodiment journey, let’s connect.