Category: Personal Thoughts

Posted on in Personal Thoughts

My Journey Is My Own

The next question that came was, “Do you enjoy helping others?” My first thought was a curiosity of other perspectives. Do people think my work is all about helping others? Do people think my goal is to help people? What an interesting idea.

I don’t try to help others. It’s not my goal, or my intention, or my reason for doing what I do. Admittedly, my process often does help in terms of providing insight or resources. I believe if I approached my work with the goal of helping others, I would fail often. That’s a lot of pressure with little direction.

I believe there is a process of becoming, an unfolding of authentic identity that must occur for purpose and passion to meet. I did not embark on my journey to help others. I did it to help me. I did not sign up for college classes or earn degrees with the thought of how someone else could be more successful. I did it to acquire new knowledge that was aligned with my deepest values and to navigate my own beliefs, fears, and possibilities. I never embraced a role, a job, or a duty to be nice or helpful. I did it because I knew without a doubt I was where I belong, and it would create momentum for the next leap.

Who I am and what I do are aligned, intertwined, and inseparable. Along the way to get where I am now, there were many levels, many upgrades, plenty of challenges, and so much to learn! Here’s the thing; I’m not done growing and I’m going to keep going! I love where I am but I know there is more for me. I don’t always know what my presence will mean to someone else, but I know that if I show up where I am meant to be as myself, it will be powerful, meaningful, and moving. I wish for everyone to reach this understanding and move into authentic being. Imagine what the world could be like!

Posted on in embodiment, Personal Thoughts

Being Present

Days are longer. Air is warmer. People are happier. This is Spring. New life is thriving and from the earth, things are growing. As I ponder what wisdom is worth depositing into the collective today, two things are at the forefront of my mind. They are colored by an awareness that these blessed days which I have so longed for over the winter will soon pass by and yield to the cycle of seasons.

First, I recognize that the more I learn, the more aware I become of just how little I know. As my awareness grows about myself and the world around me, I find that there is so much interconnectedness that it’s difficult to break off subjects and make abbreviated mentions. One simple conversation can unfold through so many ideas and potentially be endless. I am blessed with a few close friends who embody this and our ability to roll through continual, deep conversation is one of the great joys of my life. Life is meant to be fluid, changing, and unfolding.

Second, in the vastness of all that life has to offer, this moment matters most. There is so much behind me, left in my memory. Yet, there is so much before me, left wide open to possibilities. Both are a blessing to behold, but only in this moment can I live.

In this moment, I am walking barefoot in the grass, pleased by every color tucked between the leaves; yellow, purple, blue, brown, white.

In this moment, I am witnessing the beauty of growth with every down turned to feather, every burst of playful scampering, every first tweet, cluck, or meow on the farm.

In this moment, I choose the flowing dress on a windy day so that I can relish the pleasure of a warm breeze after a cool night.

In this moment, I am looking for the very ordinary space between the milestones as the accomplishments of my parenting produce great fruit and I am blessed to behold the developing of women from girls.

In this moment, I am dancing in the kitchen, nourishing my body through movement as I prepare to nourish my body with a colorful array of produce, because health is sacred.

In this moment, I am absorbing the joy of every interaction, meeting people where they are, accepting what the wisdom of experience is they have to offer, and knowing that there is purpose in every touch of a soul.

What are the moments of your present life full of? Take notice before what comes may go.

Posted on in Personal Thoughts

The Art of Letting Go

In just a few hours, the time change begins another shift and a new cycle. Sometimes as we are “springing ahead” or “falling back” I wonder if there will be a day that it no longer happens. Every year there is talk about ending the time change. The history around it is unpleasant. Losing sleep or adjusting either direction is challenging. It’s just another thing we do because we’ve always done it.

If I’ve learned anything, it’s that continuing any action solely because it’s already in place is an absolutely ridiculous reason to do anything. I’ve seen many things fall apart due to unwillingness to change course. Life requires change. Nature gives us seasons. Life requires adapting. We are part of something so much bigger than a moment or a singular understanding.

Letting go is hard. Not always, but sometimes it’s an act of compassion to release and allow the cycles of nature to shape what will be. If you’re not letting go now, you will be. That is life. The best thing we can do is embrace change, lean into what is growing or new, and be part of something greater than this moment. Someday it will all be just a memory.

Posted on in Emotions, Personal Thoughts

RElationships, Love & Pain

A comforting scripture reference from my earliest childhood memories taught me that God keeps no record of our wrongs. From the silly mistakes to the outright rebellion, all is forgivable in God’s eyes. What a truly incredible concept. People certainly do not have that superpower. People often don’t forgive, and they never forget.

I’m blessed with a curse, some might say, in that I have the ability to see people through the eyes of Love. I know it’s a gift, but it sure has stirred up some people throughout my lifetime. I’m quick to forgive. I believe in reconciliation. I understand that a person is not defined by thoughts or actions alone.

So then, how do we handle the greatest of offenses? How do we live with what we can’t forget? My energy isn’t usually matched in willingness to let go and carry on when I value a relationship. I’ve even found myself caught in a triangle where two opposing parties won’t budge and so I end up hurt because any choice I make will cause friction. Man, it’s a painful place to live.

Lately, I’ve been thinking more about how the past is permanent. The words that have been said can’t be unsaid. Choices and actions, once committed, permanently alter the path forward. Of course, a change in direction is always possible. Yet, what’s done is done. We can hold on tight and allow it to dictate our existence. Or we can let go and make room for what could be.

In relationships, love trumps pain, if we embrace love. Sadly, some people are married to pain. Maybe there’s unhealed trauma blocking the road to forgiveness. Maybe pride won’t open the gate. Any obstacle in your mind is only keeping you from healing yourself and your relationships. Don’t let that be your story. Someday, you’ll be long gone but your story can bring healing in generations to come.

Posted on in Personal Thoughts

The Problem with Health Insurance and Therapy

We all need someone to talk to sometimes, someone to listen, to care, to process, to advise us occasionally, and to support us through transitions in life. I teach a pyramid of support. At the bottom, the foundation layer, you have the support that is closest to you in proximity. This includes your family and friends, peers and coworkers, acquaintances, and social connections. It’s the people who form your daily interactions and will likely show up to your funeral. At the tippy top of the pyramid is the rarest and most professional support you might ever need; think psychiatrist, plastic surgeon, or criminal defense attorney. Some people never need this level of support. If you do have a need in this category, it is likely there is no alternative because it is so specialized.

The middle part of the pyramid between the bookends includes a variety of styles and levels of support. I call this the “can’t do it myself and I need some help” section. Skilled trades and professional services fall into this section. It’s the people who provide you something you can’t do for yourself. Narrowing in on the category of mental health, this section includes therapists, counselors, mentors, social workers, life coaches, health coaches, doctors, nurses, trainers, and more. There are many people in many roles who offer different flavors of support but ultimately are purposed to help you make the most of your life and find true wellness.

Unfortunately, in our society, money and the systems it flows through controls the narrative. In recent decades, “health insurance” has become the standard decision maker in people’s care. Many professionals who are connected to the “health care system” are under the influence of the people behind insurance. So, when therapy transitioned to a health-care service in order to qualify for coverage, it became a pawn of the industry too. What does this mean for you?

Concisely, if you use your health insurance to cover a service, it must be deemed a medically necessary treatment. Said another way, anything that your insurance pays for must be justified as a treatment of a disease or disorder. Your therapist has to diagnose you with a mental health disorder and then notate your treatment to get paid. I’ve talked about this before in sharing why I left the clinical world of professional counseling. The system is not aligned with my moral standard. For a small group of individuals, this insurance benefit is a great thing! But most people are walking around believing they have mental health issues that they don’t. In fact, socially it is common to make light of serious disorders because they have become so familiar to us. I find this to be a tragedy and disservice to humanity.

It’s time to start viewing money, healthcare, and professional support differently. It’s not what most people think it is. This is why I offer the services that I do and at a rate that does not compete with insurance. I believe in the power of support for personal growth and wellness. We’re all trying to make a living doing something we love. I’m also trying to change the world by flowing under the mainstream current for the greater good. It’s not easy standing alone but it’s worth it. I’ll tell you the hard truth. I hope you receive it.

Posted on in Personal Thoughts

Changing Seasons

Happy Autumn Blessings! This is absolutely my favorite time of the year, for many reasons. I love the cooler weather and the beautiful colors of nature. For me, this is a slow down time every year. The busyness of summer has fizzled out and the bustle of the holiday season hasn’t quite taken off. It is an atmosphere of peace and contentment.

This year in particular, I am welcoming the slow-down of October. There has been a lot going on! We purchased our forever home and did a complete renovation of this little farmhouse. (It’s still a work in progress.) I expanded my business and now have a local studio location for Bodywork. (Have you checked out that tab yet?) I headed many community projects as I’ve been absorbing myself in the local rural area where we’ve chosen to settle down. Including starting a digital newspaper, which is in large part why my blog has been so quiet all summer. Writing and editing a newspaper takes a chunk of time each week! I also birthed another dream as a branch of my business in Whole Well Women and we just wrapped up the completion of our first ever women’s conference!

To say the least, I’ve been busy. I don’t recommend doing everything you possibly can in life all at once. It’s exhausting! I am ambitious and I took the bargain of a season of hustle to bring me to the point where I can hopefully step back and nurture these things with much less stress. I am incredibly proud of myself for pulling through this year. I know, it isn’t over yet. I still have a book to publish that took a back seat for a while and I am returning to my commitment of regular publishing here. This serves as an update to catch you up on all that’s been pulling me away and let you know, I’m back!

So much more is coming soon! If you haven’t heard it lately, let me remind you- pursue your passions! Create your dreams and show up for your life- the one you really want.

Posted on in Personal Thoughts

Logo Reveal

I am so excited to get to share this with you! I am an artist at heart and visuals are so important to me. When I decided to develop a logo, a symbol of my core values that would represent my work, I knew exactly where to go. I contacted the most amazing graphic artist I know; Dalton Mault. Seriously, check him out here > His Calling Photo and Design and here > His Calling Design
Follow him because he’s awesome and you might just need the best graphic artist around in your near future.

Dalton was able to listen to all of my thoughts and many words and turn them into an amazing picture. The first thing you see is a tree. I have long used trees in my analogies. If you have read my writing or worked with me you likely know that. Trees symbolize so much to me; strength, growth, renewal, nature, environment, shelter, spirituality – the Tree of Life. I could write pages on the symbolism and what I see. The roots being revealed in the graphic is significant because of the kind of work I do. Roots are literal and metaphorical – all things are connected. There you see where the tag line came about in this process!

Next you will notice this isn’t a portrait of realism. My tree has a special twist! That twist in the trunk is a symbol of the likeness of DNA. This is such a powerful image because DNA is the foundation of identity. Maybe you know where I’m going with this? My niche, the one thing that consistently comes into view in my work, is identity. The “DNA” comes from the roots but nothing is hopeless because roots, like branches, can be cut, pruned, grafted, and changed!

This is my passion and my logo graphic captures it so well. I’m truly pleased with his work and this is a perfect image to represent Sanders Connected. I put my heart into what I do and everything has meaning! You will be seeing this banner and logo across the many platforms I engage with. When you need custom graphic work or your own logo, get in contact with my friend Dalton, I highly recommend him!

Posted on in Personal Thoughts

Big Dreams and Big Plans

Thank you to my followers for keeping up and giving your support. I truly hope you are blessed here! If you are in the inner circle, you already know the plans that have been in progress for the last 6 months. If you don’t already know, there is a lot going on!
I’ve taken a pause from some writing in order to organize some outlets. Website development, contract revising, program development, social media growth, continuing education, and networking are among the things that have been priority for the first half of 2021.

Maybe you have noticed some of the new integrations here? Now you can connect via Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn. It’s all a work in progress but I am so thankful for those of you who are growing with me!

The biggest feature of this year has been and will be the program I am developing. Very soon you will have access to a course for personal development. It’s kind of a big deal! It is the first of a series of tools I want to make available. I am taking the common threads of things that pop up with frequency among my clients and getting “the basics” down in a way that a person can begin their journey and make significant changes in life with an at-your-own-pace indirect coaching system.
If you have worked with me, follow me, support me, and have benefited from what I share; this tool will be something you will want to share with the people you know! More details to come.

If you’ve made it this far, will you do something for me? Comment below with how you were lead to this post. Did you get a subscription email? Did you follow a link on social media? Did someone send it to you? I would love to hear HOW my content is reaching you so I can dial in the best ways to keep it up. You’re wonderful! Stay tuned for more to come.

Posted on in Personal Thoughts, Success

The Myth of Multitasking

In the corporate world, diversity of ability is an asset. If one person can do the jobs of three people, that person can save the company the cost of personnel and make more money by completing more work. Some people believe that the ability to do multiple jobs is necessary to be successful. Maybe you are one of them. The value of honing a craft and being very skilled at one thing seems lost in time in some ways.

Even if you are not in the corporate business world, you may believe in the same principles of productivity on a personal level. The image of “Super Mom” who is the perfect mom, wife, housekeeper, secretary, manager, personal assistant, accountant, taxi, etc. still exists as a model that women of all ages strive for. It seems that many believe that being busy equates to being successful.

Often when you are “multitasking” you are simply transitioning among different tasks quickly and efficiently. It is a matter of organization. Understandably, organization is a productive strength. The trouble comes when this becomes a preferred mode of functioning or a lifestyle. Busyness without adequate rest builds toxic stress.

Take an inventory of your activities. Would you consider yourself a busy person? Are you overworking because you lack boundaries? Is it a season or a lifestyle? Are you getting rest; physically, mentally, and thoroughly?

This is a friendly reminder: Take care of yourself. Rest is essential to thriving.

Posted on in Personal Thoughts

Transformation

There are moments in life when we come to a crossroad, an opportunity, a challenge, or a catalyst for change. I’ve encountered this place many times along my journey. Usually there is some personal reflection required; an assessment of where I am and where I want to be. In the most critical moments the question becomes one of Who I am and Who I want to be. Maybe it’s all the same; who I am, where I am, and what I am. Aren’t they all facets of my existence?

This season, and this year, have involved a lot of reflection and processing for me. One thing that I have observed is how my writing has changed. “Once upon a time” I wrote very emotional, personal, inspired pieces. I wrote poetry, stories, and songs. I shared myself in a creative, artistic outlet. Then I learned to shield myself in response to pain.

I have notebooks full of secrets. Beautiful words that remind me of moments and feelings that I once lived in. They are mine and I have kept them close so that others cannot see into me. When I began to write again I birthed a different way to tell stories. I took an academic pose that allowed me to think, process, and reflect without exposing myself through it. Admittedly, I’ve gained a lot from this approach. Projecting my thoughts has helped me and others along the way. There is nothing inherently wrong, or right, in that process.

Now I find myself once again in this place of existential tension; poised for change. I am missing that voice from within which used to be so profound. There is a version of me that has been present; coping with the unexpected in life. But there is a whole of me that has been hiding and healing. The theme of this year for me is transformation. A lot has been going on in this chrysalis of my mind and I am about to break free and spread my wings.