Category: personal development

Posted on in personal development

Breathe Passion

Recently I was asked, “Do you love what you do?” Questions like this come up from time to time, especially when encountering someone new or new to what I do. It makes me laugh because the honest answer seems obvious to me. Of course, I love what I do! Why else would I do it?

In reality, a lot of people do things they don’t love. Sometimes there is good reason to do the necessary work of life. Sometimes the thing you are doing isn’t what fulfills you, but it is a pathway towards your true fulfillment. In a perfect world, anyone who answers “no” to the question of loving what you do would follow with a “but” that describes why they do it and how they are truly happy. Income isn’t always tied to passion.

I feel very blessed to say my work is my passion. I’ve been doing it so long now; I sometimes forget how long the road really was for me. I didn’t always love the work I had to do. I didn’t always love school and the things I was required to learn to move up and acquire more. In fact, it took me no less than a decade to reach the point where I had organized things just well enough to move into the career field I was pursuing. In that time, I spent thousands of hours in classrooms and hundreds more in jobs that were necessary, maybe fun, sometimes unpleasant, but in any case, it was all part of the journey.

Every part of my journey has been a learning experience. I don’t expect that to stop now. So, embrace where you are along your path, even if you don’t know the destination or even the next turn. We face detours, reroutes, construction, vast miles of emptiness, traffic jams, stops, and every other challenge a road offers in life. Yet, there is much beauty to behold and there can always be a next destination rather than a final one.

Posted on in mindset, personal development

Planned Failure

Welcome to January 2023! It’s officially the prime time for goal desertion and resolution repo. A lot of folks came running into the new year with lofty ambitions and shiny new goals and they will start to discard them right about now. I could tell you all about why new year resolutions are a bad idea and how to do more with less. In fact, I might just do that, but not here and not today.

Today I am going to share a concept with you that I teach to my clients. One that amplifies the success of any goals you might want to achieve. Let’s talk about planned failure. If you are a perfectionist, the title alone might make you cringe, but you are exactly the kind of person that needs this. So often, I talk to people who never start a project or idea because they are afraid to fail. It might be starting a new business, or hobby, or journaling, or crafting art, whatever the target may be they never even start at go. Why is this true so often? Fear of failure is a real monster that kills all sorts of potential before it’s even born.

Good news! I have the remedy for that fear. It’s called planned failure. When you initiate something planning to fail, success is inevitable. This is true because if the worst potential outcome is realized then you’ve hit the mark you were aiming for, but if you do better than you expect your success is on a different level. Rather than holding a standard that you can’t fail, you can literally make failure the standard and then you can only succeed!

This concept was born in my life a couple decades ago when I played pool for the first time. Even now, I am not an exceptional pool player. For some reason, the first time I played I felt ridiculous pressure to be good. Something about the poker face of other players was intimidating and made me try too hard. Call it young naivety. So of course, I failed miserably and felt embarrassed. Then when I found myself wanting to play in a casual setting, I just started announcing that I was no good and would likely lose the game. With that low bar set, when I actually hit the ball I was aiming for or actually made a pocket, it was a huge success! It was also highly entertaining to friends who were experienced players.

I repeated this planned failure in my artistic pursuits. When I started painting with new tools or new ideas, I prepared for the outcome of nothing spectacular. I used lower value supplies and set my intention to be experimental with no need to perfect any part of my process. Sometimes I make uninteresting chaos but sometimes I make really cool art. The old perfectionist in me would have whined over wasted materials, wasted time, and wasted talent- if I couldn’t be good at all times. Now I don’t believe in waste. Even if I got an insignificant end result, I learned about the process. I might have learned how pouring paint feels, or how pressure on an airbrush needs to change to control the stream. All modes of learning are good in their own power.

So stop avoiding living your life over a fear that has no power over you. Fail! Do the thing and love the process as much as the outcome. If you practice planned failure, you will certainly level up in life.

Posted on in embodiment, personal development

Personal Mastery

It has become apparent to me, as I’ve gained the sort of insight that comes with age, that competition is vanity. In most categories, the act of competing against someone else is only to the end of assigning an arbitrary status of greater than or less than. It is also apparent to me that the value of dominating over others is superficial, where the value of personal mastery is great.

If you’re going to do a thing, do it well. Incompetence is rampant and much business is conducted by people who have no business doing so. I hold to the value that people should be doing what they are most passionate about, but until they are able to acquire that level of accomplishment, they should do well at whatever they are responsible for doing.

There is one thing that each and every person should master and that is knowing the self. I believe the Greeks were accredited with the slogan “Know Thyself” but it’s a rather universal and basic pillar. Yet so many people slide through life without really knowing, understanding, or accepting their personal experience. In fact, we seek outward in others what can be learned directly in our own very capable experience. Human beings are primed to learn through sensory exploration, as evidenced by the natural, unaided development of the first years of life. A baby will learn to eat, walk, talk, and begin to behave according to expectations and social norms without any prescription of systematic instruction. Our minds are quite incredible.

My aim is to provide insight and tools to help others on their journeys of personal mastery. Teaching embodiment is foundational to the level of self-acceptance necessary for true personal growth. In two weeks, I am hosting a Personal Mastery Workshop which will be both educational and hands-on. I welcome you to come and join us in opening your mind to get to know your-self.

Posted on in Identity, personal development

Your Tribe Needs You

In a morning conversation today, a wise woman gave me the reminder that human beings, by nature, are tribal and rooted in relationship. I was in thought about how to plan my writing in a way that had the most value and was contemplating how relationships are central to the way we live. Quite often, our identity is deeply woven into the relationships we value. We take on names and titles like mother, wife, and _____ member. No single role title defines who we are, but it certainly gives shape to the greater image we bear.

How I show up to my relationships matters. Conflict is within the realm of relationship. Certainly, on my own I do not need conflict because I can do what I want to do. It’s when the ideas or expectations of others impose on my autonomy that conflict arises. So, in application, conflict is a tool for the shaping of my character. How I receive it, process it, and react to it will always leave an impression on my life and the lives which are entangled with me in that conflict.

You can’t show up in relationships unhealed without exposing others to your pain. You also can’t gain the greatest benefits from relationship until you are whole and able to give and receive without conditions. Yet, we always grow in light of the growing pains in relationship. In other words, the need for repair in relationship triggers mending of the self. If we are blessed with support, that mending reaches a deep, personal level that goes beyond the surface of the connection we are investing in.

Do the work. Heal the parts of you that long to be part of the whole. Integrate yourself so that you can show up and lead others into their greatest journeys. Allow yourself to be lead, through meaningful learning, by others who have walked where you are before you. Embrace connection for all it gives and be willing to show up for your tribe in ways that uplift the lowest and uphold the highest values.

I’m going to take you on a journey through the topic of relationships and help you find your healing. Stay connected for more.

Posted on in embodiment, mindset, personal development, Success

Movement

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Since the word March is both the current month and an action one can perform, it seems fitting to make this month all about movement. (Yes, I am a grammar nerd.) In this 2022 series, last month we talked about embodiment which includes how we move in and live in our bodies. This month I want to talk about movement because it is absolutely foundational to health and wellness.

If you fail to move, you will allow disorder in the body. Most people who encounter disease give up movement in the process. It is cyclic cause and effect. Even the “mental health disorders” directly affect physical movement. Depression generates lethargy. Anxiety gives rise to “freezing” or feeling paralyzed to act or move. Psychosis can in fact lock someone in their head, causing dissociation from the body and mental absence from the present moment. When movement ceases, the many systems of the body deteriorate and create complex issues. At this moment, I want to say that if you are struggling with a mental or physical ailment that resonates with this idea, please seek professional help. You must have support and a process to get healthy again.

For those of us who fall into the range of normal in our health and wellness, even if there is room for improvement, let’s talk about how we are moving. How active are you? Do you move from one place to another throughout the day with little to no physical activity? How often do you exercise for pleasure? Something strange has happened in our culture where exercise became a dirty word and people who are physically unhealthy look down on people who do it. I believe we need to get back to exercise being the norm. Not necessarily going to a gym or artificial movement, although for some that is a great outlet. We need to learn to find our natural movement and embrace it. We are alive and should be active!

Over the upcoming weeks, if you follow me on social media, I am going to be sharing little thoughts and tips all about movement. I hope you will check it out and actually ponder each concept. If you identify an obstacle in your mindset or motivation about movement and increasing your physical health, connect with me. I’d love to support you and provide accountability in your journey.

Posted on in personal development, Spirituality, Success

Embodiment

What do you think of when you hear the word “embody“? The idea of embodiment involves giving a physical form or expression to something. We can embody a value through personification. It has to do with tangible expression. I want you to think of it as simply experiencing your existence through your physical body.

Assuming you are a human reading this, you are a physical being. You are a body, illuminated with life, with the ability to experience living through your senses. We have senses that come through our physical organs, mind and soul. If you are not grounded in your body and aware of your senses, you may potentially miss a lot of the experience of living.

Humanity is privileged with organized thought. The mind is a powerful tool that advances us through both societal progression and personal development. However, a pitfall of the mind is getting caught up in your headspace. People are chronic overthinkers. The responsibilities we’ve created lead to stress which leaves us overthinking more and less embodied. I’m on a mission to change that.

Embodiment is the experience of feeling what you touch, or what touches you. It is seeing what’s in front of you, listening to comprehend, tasting what nourishes you, and so much more. It is an awareness of how your body responds to your environment. It is the presence of emotion, awareness of meaning, and understanding how to respond. It is how you experience the world around you and yourself.

This is such an exciting and powerful topic. Every week I work with individuals on the process of embodiment and how to build these skills. I’ve seen it work to reduce stress, reduce pain, increase happiness, discover passion, heal relationships, and increase quality of life, work, and success. If you want to develop your skills and realize your own embodiment journey, let’s connect.

Posted on in personal development

Goals and Developments

Photo by Polina Zimmerman

The beginning of January has been a time for reflection on what I did well last year and where I fell short. Anyone who values progress should regularly take time for such reflections. In both my personal life and professional endeavors, I accomplished some great new horizons in 2021. Overall, it was a fantastic year!

Part of the progress I made last year came with realizing some weak spots. I am now aware of where I fell short, what my obstacles were, why I became stuck or stagnant, and where to go from here. This week I spent time choosing wise goals and planning for my success in the year ahead. I’m going into some new adventures, picking up some plans I have laid down over the years, and ultimately authoring my own success. This is my life and only I can live it.

At the core of my passion is walking through this process with others. If you are struggling with a lack of clarity, stagnation in personal development, problematic relationships, or confusion in career development, it is essential to use reflection to become aware and then set wise goals to move forward. I know it can feel overwhelming, especially if you don’t know where to begin. Having a professional partnership for your success and accountability for your course can make all the difference. If this resonates with you, let’s connect.

Posted on in Identity, personal development

A New Angle

To think; I’ve been placed here on a little 2 acre lot, teaming with life and love, to truly see just how deep, connected, and vast life really is.

Know these things: I believe that perpetual personal development is essential to happiness and fulfillment in life. Also, I believe that pain is the divinely appointed catalyst to change, and change demands growth. Simply, life involves pain and we will meet it at set appointments throughout the journey of living.

Often pain comes through a gradual building of pressure. The ups and downs of life can sometimes tip towards overwhelm with things that need to be experienced. This has been true for me a few times in my journey. Recently, a combination of big shifts and smaller tensions had set me off balance and searching for clarity. Although I did not lack peace, I was not in a comfortable space in my emotions. For me, this indicates work to be done, and so I did.

Very recently I had an epiphany. My overwhelm resolved quite quickly into a peaceful understanding. I used a visual analogy to describe the very abstract resolution in my mind, it follows. Eggs fit nicely into egg cartons. Pears do not. Both an egg and a pear have similar purpose, similar characteristics, and are certainly useful. I have been a pear trying to squeeze into an egg carton. Now that I can see the pear from the egg, it makes sense. My pear represents emotions and beliefs which seemed to set me apart from the eggs I was among. That part of me, representative of the greater whole, doesn’t look like a carton full of eggs all alike. It looks a lot like a bowl of fruit with more color, shapes, flavors, and excitement. I better understand my peace now.

Posted on in personal development

Growing and Going

I love plants and life. We can learn so much from all levels of life, including our life-giving green friends. Let me be honest; I wish I were more of a gardener. I’ve had moments in life where I’ve had my hand in growing things and making beautiful life bloom. More often though, I fail at keeping little chlorophyll darlings alive. It’s really hit-or-miss for me. In the wild, where only God gets the credit for what grows and thrives, I love being a mindful observer.

In some ways we are a lot like plants. God gives as a start, roots, and nurtures us to grow. We need Sonlight and the flowing water of the Holy Spirit. We must be pruned in order to produce good fruit. And if God chooses to uproot us and transfer us somewhere else, it is in our best interest to not resist but to trust him, take root, and grow through the changes.

Sometimes we need to just be where we are planted and grow. In fact, much of life is a matter of growing as we go through both times of downpour and drought. In my life, I have many moments of feeling stuck in a certain place where growth was hard and painful. I also have many moments where growth was a freeing as wildflowers, and maybe just as beautiful. The parts of my story where there was uprooting, transplanting, and going somewhere different; in every case it made me stronger and more able to see the Father’s love for me.

Does this resonate with you?

Posted on in personal development

Are you afraid to fail?

One thing I do is help people recognize and then overcome fear. Almost everyone I speak with has some sort of fear. Usually, fear appears tangibly through anxiety or depression. To put some perspective to this; if I talk with just 20 people each week that is over 1000 people in the course of a year. Over the years I have spoken with thousands of individuals.

The most common fear I encounter is the fear of failure. To not be good enough, to not do enough, to lose a relationship, to lose a job, to not make it far enough in a career, to mess up as a parent and ruin a child; there are so many ways that people believe they could fail. What is failure, really?

What if I told you the only way to fail is to give up or self sabotage by never starting at all? Anything you really want out of life can be yours. Rarely do we achieve anything instantly. Life requires commitment, patience, perseverance, and follow through. Do you cringe at those words? Many people do. If those are the attributes to success, why do so many people avoid them?

It is because You are afraid to succeed. That is the true fear. You cannot be afraid to fail unless you expect to fail. You cannot fail if you learn, grow, and continue to try. So in reality, the fear of failure is actually the fear of success. What would success mean to you? Would it require more time, attention, and energy of you? Would success mean living up to a higher standard? Would success mean personal responsibility?

Think of someone you admire. What qualities do they have that attract you? I would expect that anyone you view as successful and admirable would possess some particular character traits. I am willing to bet they are committed, patient, perseverant, responsible, and organized with their time and energy. So how does one get from a state of fear to a state of success?

It’s all about mindset. What you believe, you will be. Remember the post I wrote on thought seeds? Everything begins in the thought realm. There is power in what you think and anything you continue to think repeatedly becomes your belief. Success or failure is completely within your control.