Perspective is Powerful

What is the difference between a victim and a survivor? One views the offence as destructive and insurmountable, while the latter views the offence as an experience requiring coping and healing. Some situations can be a catalyst for change and growth in one person and yet can be an excuse for faltering in another. As I search for answers and a tangible path forward in the realm of healing, I look for tools that can turn a victim into a survivor. Possibly the most powerful tool I have ever encountered is perspective.

There is a saying that I quote a lot, “Everything you need is already inside of you.” There are various individuals whom that statement is attributed to, with a variety of different wording choices. I consider it public domain because it is a simple and timeless understanding that I believe to be part of the greater unconscious wisdom humanity carries. I remember the first time I heard that statement. It was spoken directly to me, in response to a situation I was facing, as a sort of answer on how I would overcome the obstacles I was facing. I can recall several other occasions of which that statement was repeated as a sort of confirmation that I was on the right path. Once I understood the power of perspective, that idea that all I need is inside of me became illuminated in a new way. Perspective is mine, an internal representation of what is happening in my environment.

First, we have perception. If conscious understanding is a two-way street, perception is the information coming in, while perspective is the information going out. We perceive the world around us through experience. The angle from which we see, the pieces we hear, process, and understand, and all the analytical data our minds can grasp form a perception. Our physical senses collect the data but our internal environment filters how we read it. A loud bang in a public space can be a curious occurrence, something exciting, or something terrifying, depending on the filter it is perceived through.

Then, whatever we have perceived and processed becomes projected through our perspective. One person, who has trauma involving gunshot, might have the perspective that the bang is a threat, or at the least an inappropriate action, and feel a proper response it to leave or escape the environment. Another person, who has worked in a factory and is desensitized to loud sounds from a loading dock, might barely register the bang and act as if nothing happened. A young child with no negative experience and no life experience involving loud sounds might become curious and look for the source of the noise to learn more about it. There is a valuable bit of wisdom in this example; the experience does not have the same power as the perspective which is formed around it.

What if changing your perspective could change your whole life, for the better? Would you want that outcome? If I told you that changing your perspective is a growth process, it does not come easily, but you are absolutely capable of success, would you invest in the process? Your answer to that question reveals your perspective about your inherent value. Yes, you are worthy of loving yourself and having the peace and abundance you desire. Your value is not in question, but maybe your perspective needs a tune up. Let’s fix that together.

Photo by Anthony DeRosa

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Blooming with Deep Roots

Envision a beautiful flower; a deep, radiant shade of purple, with sturdy, full petals, a thick, hearty stem, and roots reaching deep into the soil, able to withstand any storm. See it as a plump bud being kissed by the springtime sun. As the rainy season ends, the sun comes close and wraps it’s light all around, nudging it to awaken. The petals take a deep breathe, opening wide, falling against one another, in a magnificent display of beauty, resilience, and purpose. A flower may blossom many times as it grows, starting to unfurl and showing glimpses of what it someday will be. Then, when fully developed and in its prime, that flower will bloom and fulfil it’s purpose of supporting life, creating new life, and bringing pleasure to the world around it.

The analogy of blooming with deep roots is one that resonates with me and my spiritual journey. In this season, I am blooming, fully rooted, resilient, and ready to fulfil my purpose. It was around 12 years ago that I began working as a spiritual coach and mentor. This preceded my start as a counselor and therapist, and ultimately, it’s what I came back to. Over the past 20 years, I have had mentors of my own from a variety of backgrounds and viewpoints. I have learned to value diversity of opinion and admire the way that many sources confirm the same truths. As a child, I was raised in a variety of religious settings rooted in Christianity. Even at a young age, I had evident spiritual gifts; knowledge, discernment of spirits, dreams/prophecy, and healing. As I have gone through my life journey, I have come to understand my gifts and embrace my potential. In fact, I love helping others to find their passions and live out their purpose as well.

I’ve learned that there are many names for the same things, depending on the culture that is defining it. You might accept that I’ve had prophetic dreams and spiritual knowledge, or you might understand it as clairvoyance, extrasensory perception, or say that I am an Empath. Any of those descriptions are accurate to what I experience. Regardless of the semantics, I have been using my spiritual gifts to help others for many years. I’ve helped people navigate their shadows and overcome trauma. I’ve facilitated physical and emotional healing. I’ve given guidance through deep processing, providing insight, and building up confidence through encouragement because of what I perceive. I’ve found a variety of tools to be helpful and as a lifelong student, I believe in sharing from an abundance of resources that provide support beyond my connection with someone.

I meet with people in dark places, in uncertainty, and with needs that require a kind of intimate knowing to grow through. We thrive in connection. We heal through connection. Even as I myself am healing parts of me, I have so much to offer others who are going through the places I’ve been. After all, I must heal myself if I am ever to help heal another. That is a life experience I have plenty of. Be Blessed.

Photo by Billel Moula

Remembering a True Identity

My mother told me, “You never lost your identity. You just forgot who you are for a little while.” A shift happened in my mind. The sense of being lost, like a dense fog, slightly lifted and suddenly there was a little bit of the road visible underneath. It felt easier to take a step, although I still didn’t know exactly where I was heading.

Identity can come from many things. We assume roles and if we are not steady in our awareness, those roles become what we believe we are. How often, when asked who we are, do we claim the identity of our roles; I am a mother, a writer, a wife, or a counselor. Which roles we highlight might depend on who the audience is which we are entertaining. In a business meeting, I am not likely to first say I am a mother. Likewise, in a social event full of women who are mothers, I am not likely to first label my career. The trouble herein comes from how fluid roles can be and therefore our identities become unstable. Deep insecurity might lead to an identity that labels us as hobbies, or religion, or sexual preferences.

When life shifts and we are shaken, an identity built on roles can come crashing down. I assumed a primary identity of ‘Wife’ for two decades, more than half of my life. That role was so important to me. It was essential to my self esteem that my functioning in that role defined my success and my value. I absorbed the multitude of messages from the culture and society around me about the role as wife and what it meant. So, when that role came to an end and I was facing the reality of divorce, I felt lost, confused, and lacking something that had become a large part of me. The loss of the relationship did not affect me at this point nearly as much as the loss of that role and title. For many years, the relationship had been gone. There was no substance left, only roles to fill. I had toiled through the slow death of the relationship and moved through deep grief many years prior. At a certain point, I resigned to going through the motions and fulfilling my duties as a wife. mother, and homemaker. I did a damn good job at my “jobs” and so even despite receiving no love or support, I was able to immerse myself in the work of being what I believed I needed to be. This was a self-laid snare that kept me trapped in a toxic situation far beyond when I should have let it end.

Then one day, while nurturing my spirituality, I was given a glimpse of a truth that gave me a sense of home. Talking about spiritual gifts, I heard someone say, “As you encounter something new that feels familiar and resonates deeply within you, you are simply remembering. Remembering who you are, and remembering the wisdom that’s been buried deep within you all along.” This took me back to the discovery that “Everything you need is already inside you.” Then my mother gave me the same message. I was never really lost, I just needed to remember. I am not a wife, but everything that made me a good wife is who I am. As in every possible role, we are not the title we carry, but the substance of what we pour into the job at hand. Roles change and end, but the person within the role is a steady and constant embodiment of attributes whose value is unchanging regardless of where she is positioned at any given moment.

So, if you are feeling lost, disconnected, or lacking, it’s time to remember who you are.

Healing Hands

“You have healing hands.” It was one of the first compliments I received after giving a massage. It is still one of the greatest compliments I receive and one that I hear with some regularity. I understood this to mean that I have natural skills in bodywork. I also understood this as a way to communicate that I had done something impactful for my client. Still, at times, I have seen this in a more literal unfolding. Sometimes physical things move into repair, or healing, due to the physical manipulations of bodywork. However, sometimes emotional things are healed through touch or the exchange of energy that happens in a bodywork session. I have witnessed the improvement in mental health, the resolution of difficult emotional blocks, the restoration of the body in improved motion or removal of pain and disorder. So much healing happens when healthy touch and positive intention are placed into the same being.

Spiritual gifts do not require labels, titles, certifications, categories, or organized paths to manifest into reality. Rather, our gifts are an essential part of our identities and add definition to who we are. The magnetism of my energy, the potential of my touch, my dreams and manifest destiny, all showed through from my early childhood in my personality and the ways I interacted with the world around me. I believe this is true for everyone. Who you are, apart from the labels and roles you might pick up, will be exactly how you show up from the innocence of early consciousness.

As we go through life, we acquire knowledge, skills, identifiers, materials, and connections that help to communicate who we are and how we operate within the systems of the world. I’ve explored the world through this lens in many ways, collecting quite the array of qualifications to help paint a picture of who I am and what I can do. Healing, especially in the category of Energy Healing, can be a difficult concept to communicate because it is so much an experience rather than a segregated idea. I have learned, studies, applied, and adopted a number of different concepts and applications of energy healing over the years. This month, I am taking a focus on one in particular that I’ve never specifically talked about at length; Reiki. Now you know a little about my understanding and belief about spiritual gifts. Stay connected for what’s to come about this amazing technique.

Photo by Arina Krasnikova