Late: an adjective once used to describe me. It became a family inside joke that I had to be told the time for dinner was an hour before anyone else would show up so I would arrive on time. I was chronically late every day and always rushing! I was exhausted. It seemed the harder I tried to make deadlines the more I struggled to keep up. Sometimes I wondered if I was cursed. This affected every part of my life; family gatherings, church, classes and assignments, work, even rest. I couldn’t simply get to bed on time.

Here is the good news; I wasn’t cursed and neither are you. I was dysfunctional because I lacked understanding of time. What I didn’t understand back then is that time is subjective. When I hit the wall and decided I had to make a change; I discovered I had to change my thoughts about time.

Time management is effective based on two subjective tenets; 1) Perception of Time, 2) Value of Time.

Perception of Time

How long does it take you to tie your shoes? You have a pretty solid understanding of the time required to accomplish the task. Yet, how long will it take a 3 year old to tie his shoes? Any given task may require a different amount of time for different people based on a variety of circumstances. Our personal perception is built on experience. What I find most often in those I counsel on time management is many people were never given the opportunity to build their own perceptions of time because time was controlled for them. This was true for me.

As a child, I was told what to do and when to do it. Any task I was assigned came with a prompting to “do it now” and so I was raised on the principle of obedience in lieu of a principle of autonomy. I believe this made me a good child but didn’t prepare me to be a functioning adult. When I found myself suddenly responsible for my own life I was subconsciously awaiting prompting to do things. Even though I had gained independence and self responsibility to a degree as a teenager and young adult, the training of my childhood was a set internal pattern. It became a conflict that I did not know how to solve. With support, I learned how to understand my own perceptions of time and adequately measure tasks to my level of functioning.

Value of Time

Another element of having your time managed for you is that time retains no personal value. It would be like having someone who manages your money and spends it for you, making all of your financial decisions. When you ask “can I buy this?” and get a yes or no answer, the value of that item is irrelevant. In order to gain respect for the value of money, one must both earn and manage that money to understand its value. Time is no different than money in this manner. In order to gain respect for the value of time it must be personally managed.

In my journey of changing my thoughts about time, I had to begin to see time in quantity. Every task and expenditure of energy has a cost of my time. I could either learn the value of that time and plan ahead to invest properly or else continue accumulating periodic debt as I spent more time than I had. When I was able to understand these principles of time, my life became much more manageable. Now I use and teach tools of effective time management to help others who want to gain control and be present rather than always being late.