Stereotypes exist because people fill the role. I don’t think this is a bad thing in itself. Some stereotypes are very negative and hurtful however. Everyone has the power to be subject to their stereotypes or change the behavior that makes them. Throughout my life I have fit stereotypes in the roles of a mother, a wife, a student, a counselor, etc., and yes… as a white woman.

I spent my early years with a secret anger. People who celebrated their heritage or had cultural customs put me off. I was raised in a non-biological family (for the most part) in which both of my parents were adopted and I lacked knowledge about my roots. Eventually in my teen years we would meet some biological family and learn little bits and pieces but there were a lot of closed doors containing skeletons. Let’s be honest, adoption is never the choice when everything is peachy.

At a certain point in my adult life not knowing got the best of my curiosity. So I began to research. Eventually I completed a DNA test. The results were hugely disappointing. I learned that DNA can’t actually tell you where you are from but it will generate a ton of possibilities. I decided that I wouldn’t stop there. I had questions and wanted answers. So I studied genomic raw data analysis and started to analyse my own raw DNA. I spent many months doing genealogy research side by side with my own DNA analysis and eventually I had some breakthroughs. After a couple years of this process, I was able to identify all four of my biological grandparents and subsequently the generations before them. I traced my roots right back to the countries of origin. I actually wrote a post on this journey in March 2018.

What is important for this piece is that I found some amazing, rich history in my bloodlines. I also found truths behind the secrets. My parents were both adopted out because of twisted, dark family secrets. My grandparents had pasts that were reprehensible. Yet, my own existence proves a new story can be written.

The choices of my ancestors are not mine. I hold no responsibility or guilt for their decisions. These are people that in other circumstances I would have called Grandma or Grandpa. Yet, I do not even bear those family names. I may share some of their physical features but my values and character came from a different family source. I was blessed to be born and raised in very different circumstances and I am thankful for that.

If in one generation an entire family history can be reset and written from scratch; why do people insist on holding the faults and failures of others over an entire cultural group? This I will never understand because my personal journey is not compatible with such thinking. Every race and background has individuals and groups of people who are remembered for bad decisions. In some cases, race has been used to proposition people as superior or inferior. It happens today among groups small and large. I can’t deny this, though I don’t agree with it. I believe culture and heritage should be shared passions and interests. This is the part of my heritage that defines me.

How do we, as a society, move towards respecting individuals and cultural differences in a way that removes the “us versus them” negativity while honoring and preserving differences that make culture unique and beautiful?