The most guarded, impenetrable prison humanity is captive to are the words of emotional abuse from self and others. A Proverb in the Old Testament says “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” It is a statement which portrays a sobering depth of reality once it is understood to be true.

I describe to my clients how motivation is a matter of mental vegetation. My clients know that I love word pictures and using visual imagery for instilling philosophies into the mind. There are three elements to change which are consistent and universal despite what the aim of the change may be; thoughts, language, and behavior. There is no behavior or action which comes forth in reality that was not born a thought. The thought is a seed. If it is planted and nourished it will grow. As that thought takes root it creates the dialog of which I speak to myself and others. “Thinking” is the mental language of self talk. How I think about myself influences how I view and treat others. This is where behavior blossoms.

What is so often overlooked is how self abuse shapes behaviors of self destruction. If I think (seed) that I am unworthy, incapable, or lacking then my language becomes self-depreciating. My thought flow becomes negativity and arbitrary limits on my potential. Eventually that comes through in my behaviors which are unhealthy and regressive. Where did that bad seed come from? The significance of this understanding is that everything I speak plants seeds in others and if I am not planting positive, encouraging ideas I am leaving space for those personal doubts and fears to grow. Planting strong, positive affirmations in someone’s character can choke out the weeds of insecurity before they grow and overtake one’s entire perception.

Positive change requires planting positive seeds and nurturing them in the language that is expressed in thinking and speaking. If you want to believe what you have planted you must grow it. Healthy change is intentional, not a passive occurrence which happens upon someone. Use the language of positive, confirming thoughts and words in your daily life.

Are you growing beautiful flowers or allowing thorny vines to overtake your emotional garden?